The Seventh Element
by Drake Clawfang
Summary: An adaptation of 'The Fifth Element'. Tea just wanted to keep her job as a bad driver in Domino City, 2214. Sadly, she finds the 'perfect being', and is thrown into a battle against aliens, the government, and a sleezy businessman to save the world.
1. Prologue

The Seventh Element

**This is a test chapter. If it is well received, I'll keep going. If not, I'll take it down. I hope it does well, because 'The Fifth Element' is a good adaptation for Yugioh.**

**I do not own 'The Fifth Element', or Yugioh. If I did, the Fifth Element would have had a sequal by now, and Tea and Yugi would have been hitched by season 2. So when those happen, you can assume I own them. But it hasn't, and won't, so I don't. However, I think they are both very cool.**

Prologue

Every 5000 Years

-Cairo Egypt, 1914-

The Egyptian sun shone its ray down onto the desert sand below. A young boy riding a camel pulled the scrap piece of cloth on his head lower to provide some protection from the heat. He was traveling to meet his brother Noah at the temple. Noah had been hired by a Japanese archeologist to assist in excavating a temple. The temple in question was in the middle of nowhere, miles from Giza or the Valley of the Kings. It loomed ahead like a beacon of hope, a shelter in the middle of the heat and sun. Mokuba urged his camel to go faster.

He neared the temple and hopped off, desperate to get inside from the sun. He grabbed the gourds of water from his camel and rushed into the entrance. The passage went in for ten, twenty feet before turning right. Mokuba crept up and peeked around the corner. A large mirror sat in the corner, reflecting the sun around the edge of the stone. Another small boy lay sleeping there, holding a second mirror. Beside him sat a middle-aged man with a sketchpad. Opposite them was the renowned Arthur Hawkins, furiously translating hieroglyphics. Noah shifted his position in his sleep, and the mirror point its ray down. Arthur growled as the light left his work.

"Noah, LIGHT!" He roared. Noah jumped awake with a gasp and quickly repositioned the mirror. Arthur's partner Solomon chuckled to himself and checked off an eleventh checkmark on his sketchpad.

"Noah, light." He muttered. Arthur sighed.

"Alright, I'll start again." He said to himself, looking over the ancient pictographs.One was of three planets, each casting a shadow over their moon. The shadows from the planets converged into a central point. "When the 3 planets are aligned into eclipse, a door is opened to another realm. Evil comes, terror and chaos reign in its wake. Ah, Solomon, get this. You see this?" Arthur tapped his brush against a picture of a snake hissing at a series of corpses and wilting plants. "You see, this snake, all who meet him die. Peoples, plants, the ground itself, it all withers in his wake. He is evil, the ultimate evil, make sure you get this." Solomon shrugged and made a rough sketch of the snake.

"Yeah yeah yeah Arthur, I got the lousy snake." He muttered. "So when is this terrifying reptile gonna come around exactly?" Arthur frowned and peered at a small inscription under the snake.

"Let me see here…if this is the five…then this is the one…then…every 5000 years." He concluded. Solomon stopped his sketch and raised an eyebrow.

"So…I've got some time then?" He joked. Mokuba watched them and gasped as a hand clamped onto his shoulder. He spun around and breathed a sigh of relief. The tanned man behind him smiled and looked at the gourds in Mokuba's hands.

"Ah, good boy, you bring water for them?" The man asked. Mokuba nodded. "Good, good boy. Go, I will take it to them. Be safe from, go now." Mokuba nodded again and eagerly fled. The man adjusted his white turban and observed Arthur over the stone.

"And look at this…the peoples of the world, they gather the energy, the six elements of life." He murmured. On the wall before him, six mystical symbols were positioned around a pedestal. "Water fire, earth air, light darkness. They gather them, take them to a seventh…" Arthur trailed off as he noticed the being standing on the pedestal. Trails of energy curled around him. "A seventh element…" The man in the turban cursed under his breath. He reached into his robes and removed a small vial of poison.

"Ra forgive me." He whispered. "But one man cannot jeopardize all we have strived to protect." He emptied the vial into the gourd of water and stepped into Solomon's view, clearing his throat. Arthur and Solomon looked up.

"Ah, Shadi, I was hoping you would come!" Arthur exclaimed. Shadi nodded nervously.

"Yes, of course Professor. Here, Mokuba had brought water." He said, handing the gourd of poisoned water to Arthur. Arthur nodded and absentmindedly took the gourd before dragging Shadi to the wall.

"Shadi, in all my years of research I have never encountered anything like this. The Egyptians, they fought evil. They created a brand new strain of life, just to combat evil. Evil's arrival, the people fighting back, the weapon against evil…it's like a millennia old battle plan." Arthur chuckled and raised his water in triumph. "I'm going to be famous!" He cheered. Shadi laughed back.

"Then a toast to your fame!" He declared. Arthur nodded.

"Yes. To fame!' He declared, lifting the gourd to his lips. Shadi watched eagerly as Arthur put it to his lips, than frowned. "What are we thinking? We cannot toast with water!" Arthur sighed and dropped the gourd on the ground. "We have wine at our hotel in Cairo, we will toast then. For now I must finish!" He stepped back to the wall and resumed his translations. Shadi gulped and ran to the passage way leading to the entrance to the temple. He shuddered as a shadow vegan to crawl across the desert stretching before him.

"They're here." He whispered. Outside, a gigantic black ship lowered towards the sands. Four engines on the sides, the size of city buses, let out clouds of steam as the ship slowed to a stop. The entire structure was a huge as a skyscraper. A part of the ship near the bottom hissed and lowered to the ground on an angle, stopping just outside the entrance to the temple. The strange ramp slid open to reveal six large searchlights.

"Divine light they talk about….what is divine light?"Arthur asked. Then the ramp covered the entrance to the temple, and the temple was cast into darkness. Arthur growled. "Noah, LIGHT!" Noah had once again fallen asleep at his station, but someone else heard Arthur's command. The six searchlights glowed red before activating in a burst of light, illuminating the entire cave. Arthur smiled. "Much better, thank you Noah. Let's see here…" He continued. Solomon peeked around the corner and gasped. Descending the ramp on a small platform were five…creatures.

They were large and rotund, with large shoulders, and six feet tall. Their arms were connected to the body until halfway down their torsos, when they grew large, five-fingered hands. Their heads emerged from their bodies from between the shoulder blades, and were low slung. The heads were small for the bodies, with noses that ran between the eyes and down to a small hole that served as a mouth. Their legs were stubby, and they walked by swinging their feet forward with each step, putting their whole bodies into the motion. They were metallic and gold, with purple lights on their shoulders. Their eyess were large, purple ovals. 2 of them were carrying a large case with them. Solomon wasn't sure if they machines or actual beings of flesh. He gulped and quickly began to sketch. As they shuffled past him, each of the creature cast him a glance, but continued walking. Solomon was a human, he posed no threat to them. Shadi gulped as the lead creature walked to him while the other four cornered Arthur, who still hadn't even noticed them. The creature that was with Shadi had three red-silver bands around each of his shoulders, and two bands over his forehead, just above the eyes.

"Lord Monichlahan, please, forgive me, but the Monocheawan need not take them, I have done my duty well." Shadi stammered. Monichlahan shook his head.

"Do not fear." He intoned. "You and the Tombkeepers before you have served us well. But wars are coming. The Items are not safe on Earth any more." Shadi sighed and hung his head. He had heard the news that the Europeans were on the brink of conflict. The Monocheawan were correct in their judgments.

"Shadi, I swear this is amazing…" Arthur turned and paled as he finally noticed the 4 Monocheawan behind him. "Are…are you German?" He asked. The 4 Monocheawan looked at each other and shook their heads. Two carefully pushed Arthur away as Monichlahan shuffled to the wall Arthur was studying. He looked it over and held out his hand. A small golden rod with a flat eyeball on the end came out of one of his fingers. He slid the 'key' into a crack in the wall, and stepped back as the wall slid apart to reveal another passage deeper into the temple. Arthur gulped.

"_That…_was really amazing." He muttered. Monichlahan sighed.

"We are sorry, but we must do what must be done." He said. Arthur cocked his head.

"Huh?' He asked, confused. Then his eyes rolled back into his head, and he slumped to the floor. Monichlahan and his companions moved into the new passage as Solomon scrambled to Arthur's body. Shadi carefully stepped aside them and followed the Monocheawan in. Inside lay a large, hexagonal room. Against each wall lay a short column, each with a golden object set in it. In the middle of the room was a pedestal. Standing on it was a golden statue of a figure sitting on a large throne. Around the figure's neck hung a inverted golden pyramid. On its front was the same eye-like symbol on the key Monichlahan had used to enter the temple. Shadi saw the statue and gasped.

"The Seventh Element…" He murmured. Monichlahan looked around the room and nodded to the 2 Monocheawan with the case.

"Take the Millennium Items." He ordered. The Monocheawan set the case down and opened it, revealing a plush velvet interior with 6 indents. The other 2 moved about the room, collecting the golden items from the columns. There was a scepter, a set of scales, a necklace, a ring, an orb, and an ahnk. They set the items in the case and closed it, picking it up and heading back for the ship.

"Take the Pharaoh." Monichlahan commanded. The remaining two Monocheawan reached down and slid their hands under the golden statue, lifting it with ease. "Careful with him." Monichlahan grumbled. The two Monocheawan walked down the passage. They passed Solomon, who was shifting through his bag, looking for something. Shadi watched them go and turned to Monichlahan.

"But my Lord, if you take the Millennium Items, we will be defenseless. What will we do in 300 years when Evil returns?"

"In 300 years, when Evil returns, so shall we." Monichlahan explained.

"Don't move!" Monichlahan looked up as Solomon stood as the exit to the passage. Solomon was sweating and shaking, but he kept the pistol in his hands trained on Monichlahan.

"Solomon, do not do anything foolish!" Shadi coaxed, walking into the passage. Solomon shook his head.

"Shadi, what are you doing with these things?" He demanded. Shadi cursed his duty as a Tombkeeper. It was his duty to protect this place from any intrusion. Solomon had seen too much, and, much to Shadi's dismay, his fate would be the same as the Professor's. Provided Solomon didn't get himself killed before then. The temple had been constructed to seal if any threat should be made apparent to it. If Solomon wasn't careful, one of many terrible things could happen.

"Solomon, they are friends…trust me." Shadi said, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace.

"Friends? Shadi, they killed Professor Hawkins! They're monster!"

"I do regret the Professor's death Solomon, but it was needed!"

"You…you're with them?"

"Solomon…put the gun down." Shadi asked. Solomon stepped back and shook his head. "Solomon, I will explain everything, just…please, do not shoot." Shadi pleaded. It was a lie of course, he was not at liberty to divulge the secrets of the Tombkeepers to normalhumans.Solomon took another step back, and slipped on the gourd of water that Arthur had dropped only minutes ago. He gasped and shot in a reflex. Solomon's head hit stone with a crack, and he lay still. The bullets ricocheted into the passage. The stone walls creaked and began to close. Shadi ran forward and turned to see Monichlahan shuffling to his safety. But the Monocheawans were not fast by any means. Monichlahan would not survive.

"Please hurry, you may make it!" Shadi shouted.

"This is your mission now. Pass the knowledge to the next Tombkeeper, as it was passed to you. Preserve this place until we return in 300 years." Monichlahan said.

"I will I will but hurry, you still have time!" Monichlahan extended his hand and produced the key to the temple.

"Time not important, only life important. Take key, ensure life…" The walls closed around Monichlahan's hand as he was crushed, the key sticking out from the wall. Shadi cringed as the Monocheawan's painful roar of death filled the temple. Shadi grabbed the Key and ran to the temple entrance. The ramp to the Monocheawan ship had retracted, and the engines were gaining power.

"I will fulfil my mission, I promise you!" He shouted. He held the key in the air towards the ship. "The Tombkeepers will safeguard the temple until you return!" The ship blasted into space, on it the six Millennium Items, and an ancient being that would change the fate of not only mankind, but of life itself.


	2. Evil Returns

The Seventh Element 

Chapter 1 

Evil Returns 

-2214, 300 years later-

"Anomaly is unknown. Its molecular composition doesn't comply with meteorite standards, and it's too small to be a black hole." Lt. Raptor read of his instruments. Lt. General Roland nodded and looked over his shoulder at the readings.

"Odd. I've never seen anything like this." He murmured. "Do we have temperature readings? Radar, sonar."

"Radar and sonar are acting as if there's nothing there." Lt. Underwood muttered.

"But the thermo-analyzers are going haywire. Some of them say 1000000 degrees, the others, minus 1000000. We also have scattered reports of radio waves, sounds waves in high and low decibels, and there appears to be massive amounts of energy coursing along its interior structure. Whatever it is, it's generating power equivalent to nine times that of the sun."

"Sir, we have visual contact." Raptor said. Roland nodded.

"Alright, punch it up." He ordered. The view port on the _Behemoth IV _slid open, and the three of them looked ahead into space. Beside them flew the _Goliath IX_ and the _Wyvern III_. Roland stared ahead. Three planets and their moons were in eclipse. Roland didn't know how often something like that happened, but if the readings from the phenomenon were any indication, it happened too often for his taste.

Before them, a large cloud loomed in space. With a flash of light and a muffled explosion, the cloud contracted into a gigantic ball of rock and magma. It was the size of a large planet, almost three times the size of earth. Roland stared.

"Contact the President. He'll want to know about this."

-Space Station _Omni_, orbiting Planet Earth. Command Station of the UFT-

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present President Seto James Kaiba, of the United Federation of Territories." Kaiba ignored the recording announcement that played every time the door to his office opened. He made a mental note to fire whoever had programmed the moronic thing sometime later, and turned to the task at hand.

"Let's get this over with. What's going on and who do I fire if it's a waste of my time?" Kaiba snapped, sitting as the desk in the middle of the control room. A tall blonde cleared his throat.

"That would be me sir. General Joseph Wheeler, of the United Federal Forces." He said. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. What's going on?" He demanded.

"Lt. General Roland Thomas has found an anomaly that you might want to see." Joey muttered. Now he remembered why he had voted for Dartz in the 2211 elections. Kaiba punched up a command on his console and picked up his receiver.

"Roland, what's going on out there?"

_"We're not sure Mr. President. Our readings on this thing are unreliable, and visually we cannot confirm anything except it appears to be a large planet of magma."_

"Really? So you're telling me you have no idea what it is?" Kaiba snorted.

_Not yet sir, all we know is that it's getting bigger."_

"Recommendations Roland?"

_"Shoot first and ask questions later. I'd rather see this thing destroyed then risk it being dangerous." _Kaiba nodded.

"Good call Roland, and I agree. You may fire when…"

"Mr. President, sir." A voice called. Joey and Kaiba both looked up. A platinum blonde young man stood up from the small crowd of spectators. "May I offer you a different theory?" The man asked.

"You have five seconds to tell me who you are and provide your explanation." Kaiba snorted. The man stepped out of the crowd and approached Kaiba's desk. A slightly young woman followed him.

"My name is Malik Ishtar, and this is my sister and apprentice Ishizu. Mr. President, if my theory is correct, then shooting will only make this thing stronger."

"Really? And do you know what this thing is then?" Kaiba scoffed.

"Mr. President, this thing cannot be identified become it prefers not to be. Wherever there is light, it brings darkness. Wherever there is life, it delivers death. This thing is Evil, the ultimate evil."

"And you _don't _want us to shoot it?" Kaiba laughed. "If this thing is evil, then that's another reason to shoot." Malik shook his head sadly.

"Evil spawns Evil, Mr. President. Shooting it will only make it stronger." Kaiba raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Really? Well, we'll find out, won't we?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"F-97 locked and loaded." Raptor announced. "_Goliath IX _and _Wyvern III _are ready to fire."

"Sir, something's happening." Underwood muttered. Roland looked out. The planet was cooling and hardening. The magma turned to hard stone in seconds.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Planet's surface density has increased by 340 percent." Joey muttered. "Surface activity is zero, planet surface has solidified completely."

"Sir…" one of the scientists at the controls said. "I…I think it's anticipating the attack."

"Bullshit, it's a rock. It doesn't think, it doesn't anticipate, it doesn't have a brain!" Kaiba growled.

"This thing _does _expect the attack. Mr. President, please, it is not too late. Stop the attack. This thing is intelligent beyond imagination, it has the wisdom of centuries." Malik begged. Kaiba glared at him.

"Roland, you may fire when ready."

- - - - - - - - - -

"F-97 locked on target." Raptor said. "Firing." 5 large missiles flew from the _Behemoth IV. _The other ships followed suit and fired. The fifteen projectiles hit the planet and exploded. There wasn't a spec of noticeable damage.

_"Roland? Roland, what's going on?" _Kaiba's voice crackled. _"Did you destroy it?" _Roland gulped.

"I'm about to sir. Raptor, load the G6." Raptor nodded and punched up a series of keys on his console. Two dozen missiles flew from the ship, each roughly the power of a sub-atomic bomb. They impacted with a series of explosions that would destroy anything. Well, almost anything.

"Sir…" Underwood said shakily. "Planet has increased in mass by 200 percent."

"It's moving towards us." Raptor shouted. The two looked up at Roland. The Lt. General was frozen in fear.

"Wha…what do we have that's stronger then the G6?" He asked. Raptor shook his head.

"Nothing sir, it's the strongest military warhead in service." He replied. Roland nodded.

"Oh…" He whispered. Roland's eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell to the ground.

_"Roland? Roland, answer me!" _Kaiba roared over the intercom. The planet moved closer to the trio of ships as Roland lay convulsing on the floor. Raptor shook Roland's shoulders.

"Captain Roland. Sir, please answer me!" Raptor pleaded. He looked up and gasped as the planet moved even closer.

_"Roland, answer me! This is the president, I order you to answer me right now!" _A plume of flame shot from the planet and engulfed the three ships.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Contact with Roland and his partner ships has been lost." Joey said grimly. Kaiba cursed and slammed his hands on the desk. Malik raised an eyebrow as the president got to his feet and paced nervously behind his desk.

"Now that you have gotten your men killed, perhaps you'd like hear my theory in more detail?" Malik asked dryly. Kaiba glared at him and sat down.

"This better be good." He growled.


	3. Our So Called Hero

The Seventh Element 

Chapter 2 

Our So-Called 'Hero' 

Tea Gardner screamed and sat up in her bed in her Domino apartment. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. 8:30. God damn nightmares.

"No one should be up this early." She muttered. Right on cue, the voice activation kicked in. The lights blinked on, and rock music from the 40's started playing. Tea's friends made fun of her for listening to such old music. Now a days, music was digitally synthesized, but in the years of 2140, instruments and human musicians played. Tea liked the real notes. Tea rubbed her temples and groaned.

"Yeah yeah, I'm up." She muttered as the phone rang. She sighed and sat up, the bed retracting into the wall. She went to the wall controls and turned down the music. Then he hit the speaker button on the phone.

"What?" she groaned.

"Hey Gardner, its Mai." Tea hit the DOOR OPEN button, and a tan cat ran inside. Tea smiled.

"Hi honey." She whispered, rubbing her temples.

"If you want to take our friendship to the next level Gardner, we should discuss it in person." Mai laughed. Tea rolled her eyes and pulled a cigarette from a packet on a shelf, and starting looking for a lighter.

"Very funny Mai. I was talking to the cat." She said, looking down at Honey as he devoured his food.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. You still prefer the furry tomcat to the human one." Tea shrugged and stuck the cigarette in her mouth. Moving items on the shelf, she picked up a picture of her and a brunette man. Her wedding day. Tea frowned. How did that picture survive? She had gotten rid of them after a little thing she called 'The Big Freakout'.

"At the least the furry one comes back after sleeping around." She said, ripping the picture in half.

"Hey, it's been five months Gardner, get over him. Tristan was one man, there are a million others out there."

"I don't want a million men, I want one." Tea huffed, finding a lighter. "A perfect one." Mai snorted.

"Good luck Gardner. While you're at it, find us a cure for world hunger and HTS." Tea rolled her eyes and lit her cigarette and laughed.

"Give me a break here Mai." Tea moaned, picking up another picture. "Ew."

"What?"

"Found a picture of you."

"Oh really? How do I look?"

"Slutty."

"Hm, must be an old picture. Listen, Valon wants you to bring the cab in for an overhaul."

"I don't need one." Tea said, sipping the coffee. Lukewarm. She gagged and put it back on the burner.

"Hey Gardner, Valon's had the boss on his back for cab repairs, and when Raphael is on his back, Valon gets on mine, help us both out."

"Tell Valon he should tell Raphael to shove his repair crap. He's been an asshole ever since his step-dad lost the election. And just between you and me, I voted for Dartz. You'd think they'd cut me some slack. Anyway, forget about the overhaul, the cab's purring like the presidential hooker."

"Oh don't give me that shit Gardner, I remember how you drive."

"That was six months ago Mai, I'm a new woman. I crashed battlecruisers, sure, but this is a cab. I can handle a cab."

"Really? So tell me, how points are left on your license?" Tea picked up her ID and squinted at the digital readout under her picture.

"Uh…"

" Gardner, how many points?"

"About 50." Tea lied.

"You lied better when you were in the UFF, Gardner."

"Because the UFF is made of lies Mai. Those bastards were supposed to give me 5 mil for retirement."

"How much did you get?"

"2."

"Cheapskates."

"Factor in that I lost half of it in the divorce now. I'm not good at math, how much have the men in my life screwed me out of?" Tea asked, picking up her reheated coffee. She sipped and shrugged. It would do.

"I hear ya Gardner, to hell with the lot of 'em. Look, Valon's job is hanging by a thread, and he's the only thing keeping me employed. He goes, I go, remember?"

"Oh yeah. How many times did you sleep with him to get that job again?"

"Twice. And shut up." Tea smiled.

"Fine. I'll be there later, just let me get a few fares."

"Whatever. Bye." Tea clicked off the phone and downed the rest of her coffee. She reached over and hit another button on the wall controls. A TV slid out of the wall, and Honey jumped to the floor to watch. Tea flicked her cigarette to the ground, putting it out with her heel as she listened to the TV.

"Ladies ands gents, Maxie Rhod here, inviting YOU on the once of a lifetime trip! An all expenses paid trip to duelist Kingdom for two, accompanied by me, myself and I! Drawing begins today, enter now and win big!" Tea rolled her eyes and grabbed her coat.

"Don't watch it all day Honey, it'll rot your little brain and you'll end up like that fruit." She called. She pressed the DOOR OPEN button, and was met with a gun barrel.

"Gimme the cash!" The mugger hissed. Tea groaned. She really had to move to a better neighborhood. Maybe it was her, but it seemed to be the same guy every month. She looked over the large gun in her face.

"Nice gun. H97, Titanium Assault Model, right?" She asked. The mugger raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah, titanium…gimme the cash!"

"That's some heavy duty firepower there. Could blast me right through the wall." Tea mused. "Guess it's a good thing it ain't loaded." The mugger laughed nervously.

"Whadda ya mean it ain't loaded, your crazy bitch, of course it's loaded!" He snapped.

"Really? Because that little yellow button there shouldn't be lit up if it was loaded." Tea informed him, pointing to a tiny yellow button on the gun barrel. "You wanna load, you gotta press that button." The mugger gulped as one of his hands reached forward. "You want me to get that for ya?" Tea asked, bored. The mugger pushed the button and laughed as the gun beeped three times. Then the barrel fell off the rest of the gun to the floor. Tea rolled her eyes and pulled her own gun from behind the door. The mugger dropped what was left of his weapon and held up his hands.

"Oh shit…" He muttered. Tea crouched down and picked up the pieces of the H97.

"This here is a very bad gun." She lectured, throwing the pieces into her apartment. "I'll hang onto this for ya, you run off an we'll pretend I was scared, okay?" The mugger nodded and sprinted down the hall. Tea smirked and hit the DOOR CLOSE button.

"Wimp."

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Please enter your license." _The car console beeped. Tea slid into the driver's seat of her cab and pulled out her ID.

"Yeah yeah." She muttered, swiping it through the car's card reader.

_"ID confirmed, Tea Taylor Gardner, 22 years old, born 2192, Domino __Japan__." _

"No shit." Tea growled. She flipped up a row of switches, and the car's hoverjets came on with a hiss and a creak. The safety clamps on the car's rear fender released as the car hovered inches above the ground.

_"You have 5 points left on your license." _The console reminded Tea.

"Yeah, thanks for the little reminder." Tea grumbled. She reached out and hit a switch on the garage wall. The wall before the car slid open, revealing the 'street'. About 150 years ago, pollution has pretty much made most of Earth's surface uninhabitable. The buildings now towered miles into the air, with the streets running between them. There were about 15 lanes vertically, then bout 50 feet of empty air before 'The Fog' started, an empty, cloudy area that marked where the buildings had been adapted from sky scrapers over a century ago. Tea eased out of the garaged.

_"Have a nice day, please drive safely." _

"I try." Tea replied. A car veered in front of her, and Tea flashed the driver the finger. "Hey, I'm driving here!"


	4. Legend of the Millennium Items

The Seventh Element 

Chapter 3 

Legend of the Millennium Items 

"We have 48 hours, that's all the time it needs to grow strong enough to make the journey here." Malik said.

"And if we don't stop it within 48 hours?" Kaiba asked.

"Then we don't stop it at all. The goal of this thing is not to fight over money, or land or power…but to exterminate life. All life, everywhere."

"And as you've said, any attack we wage on this thing makes it stronger. I'm assuming then that there _is _no weapon that can harm it?" Kaiba replied.

"There is only one weapon." Malik said grimly. Ishizu laid a large, leather bound book in front of Kaiba. Malik opened the first page to reveal a picture of a Monocheawan. "The Monocheawan are older then the UFT knows. They have been around for thousands for years, possibly hundreds of thousands. It was they who helped us defeat Evil 5000 years ago, with the Ancient Egyptians. They built the Temple of Life, they crafted the Millennium Items needed to vanquish Evil. With these items, they have a being meant to harness the power of the Items, and channel it into The Light of Creation." Malik turned the page. Kaiba cocked his head in interest. It the picture was an ancient temple, with six golden items surrounding a single man. Beams of power were coursing from the items into the man, and a shining white beam of light emanated from him."

"The Light of Creation is a weapon that does not destroy, but creates. It spreads like to the farthest reaches of the universe. The Light is created when the Seventh Element, the symbol of Good, stands in the middle of the temple, surrounded by the Millennium Items…" Malik grew tense and turned the page once more. "But…if, Evil, stands in the temple." Kaiba narrowed his eyes. A sinister looking man was standing amongst the golden items. All around him lay the bodies of dying people and those already dead. "Then Light turns to Dark. Life to Death. Forever."

"In 1914, the Monocheawan sensed the onset of World War I, and took the Items with them for safekeeping. They promised to return the Items once Evil returns, a time which is upon us now."

"Sir." Joey called. "We have a Monocheawan freighter craft at the UFT border, requesting permission to enter our airspace." Kaiba stared at Malik for a moment.

"You realize of course, if you're wrong, you'll be executed for inciting false paranoia and superstition in the presidential cabinet." He muttered.

"If I am wrong Mr. President, we will all be executed for the simple crime of living." Malik said quietly. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Grant the Monocheawan entry. Send an escort too, I want that ship here as soon as possible." He told Joey. Malik smiled in relief.

"Thank you Mr. President."

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Permission to enter restricted air space granted."_ Joey's voice crackled. Mirojathyne nodded and piloted the craft forwards. Outside his ship, two small, stubby fighters zoomed toward it. Inside each was a large, pig-like creature. The two chuckled and called up weapon controls.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Sir, we have two unidentified craft entering our air space." An officer said. Kaiba and Malik both turned their attention to him. Joey looked over his shoulder.

"Call up a reading of the style of craft." He commanded. The officer typed, and an image of the two craft appeared on screen. Joey cursed. "Mangalores."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Show time!" Girleg laughed. He and Flort piloted their ships down to travel along the outer hull of the Monocheawan craft. The two opened fire, and the craft was bombarded by laser fire. Mirojathyne futility tried to pilot the ship to safety. But it was too late. The guidance controls of the craft malfunctioned, and the ship spiraled down to Earth. The ship slammed into the Sea of Japan and was consumed by the waters, Girleg called up communications and radioed their commander as he flew through the atmosphere.

"Darek, we have shot down the craft. We will begin salvaging shortly." He said. On the other end, Darek grunted.

_"Good work Girleg. I radio Earth and tell him we have what he asked for." _

- - - - - - - - - -

The buildings of Domino were miles tall, but even this building towered above them. It was over 600 stories tall, while most other buildings were only 400. A phone rang, and the secretary on the top floor picked it up.

"Mr. Bakura's office." She said sweetly. "One moment, I'll punch you through." She hung up and stood. Walking to a large pair of iron doors, she reached down and hit in intercom button. "Mr. Bakura, you have Darek on line 1." She said.

Inside the doors, Ryou Bakura, CEO of Bakura Products and Services, let a rare smile grace his lips. Perfect, right on time. If there was one thing Bakura liked, it was a punctual alien. He reached to his desk and picked up his phone.

"Good to hear from you Darek." Bakura muttered. "I assume you carried out your orders as told?"

_"Yes. We will have the Items you asked for shortly." _Bakura's grin grew wider.

"Good. I'll meet you at the factory in afewhours. Oh, and Darek?" Bakura said. "Don't disappoint me. I don't like being disappointed." Bakura hung up and chuckled. Life was good.

- - - - - - - - - -

"5000 years of waiting…for nothing." Malik said to himself. Kaiba ignored him and pulled Joey to him.

"Reports?" Kaiba asked.

"We've contacted the Monocheawan High Council. They detest the incident but acknowledge our apologies."

"Reports from the crash site?"

"One survivor, DOA. He's headed down to Genetic Reconstruction in Domino Japan." Joey said. Kaiba nodded.

"Good." He turned and stared at Malik. "Malik, I'm calling a transport to take you home." He said. Malik looked up and shook his head.

"N, no I must stay here, I am the Monocheawan contact with Earth, they'll come for me."

"Malik." Kaiba interrupted angrily. "A Monocheawan craft was just shot down by outlawed aliens in UFT air space. This is a government matter now, and you are not a member of the cabinet. Thus, you've no right to be involved. I'll contact you if I need your opinion." A guard reached down and slapped Malik's book shut, pulling the Egyptian to his feet.

"Wheeler, get down to Domino, oversee the survivor's GR. Whoever or whatever he is, I want an explanation of what happened and whatever was on that ship. Speaking of which, get a salvage crew there while you're down there. If those Millennium things were on board, I want them brought here." Kaiba turned and stared at Malik, who was being led out to the docks. "Although it's unlikely, Malik may be right. Keep a watch on him. He does anything to interfere with the proceedings, I want him arrested."


	5. Perfect

The Seventh Element 

**Terms to know **

**GRI- Genetically Rendered Image, it produces a picture of someone passed in their DNA. **

**GRT- Genetic Reliability Test, determines how safe it would be to genetically reconstruct someone. **

**GRC- Genetic Reconstruction Chamber. **

**Sirius strands: I made them up. Don't think for a minute I knew what I was talking about. **

Chapter 4 

Perfect 

"What kind o survivor do you call that?" Joey grumbled. A table was being wheeled down the Genetic Reconstruction Plant in Domino. Genetic Reconstruction was considered one of the greatest technological breakthroughs in history, right up there with electricity and the Internet. Genetically rebuilding DOAs and suicide victims had been the subject of dispute for years, but a vote had passed the bill to legalize the procedure with a vote of 54 percent, barely passing the fifty-fifty mark. But it was enough at the time. That had been a decade ago.

"Don't worry, there's a few cells alive, it's all I need." Dr. Duke Devlin said. On the table were a few finger bones and a few hand bones grasping a handle. A handle from what, Joey had no clue.

"Did you run a GRI on it?" Joey asked. "Hair color, ethnicity, age, what are we dealing with?"

"We tried, but our equipment blew a fuse. All we know is that it's human…sort of." Duke bit out the few words. Joey raised an eyebrow.

"Sort of? What do you mean?" Duke punched up a code to the GR chamber outer door, and it slid open with a hiss.

"Well….okay, human DNA has 40 Sirius strands, they govern memory and learning capabilities. 40 is more than any human needs to remember and learn all the knowledge they'll ever need in life. This guy has 20'000 Sirius strands. His learning skills and memory are off the charts." Duke punched up the code for the inner door. Joey looked down at the bones and grimaced.

"Sounds like a freaky mutant or something." He muttered. Duke smirked.

"Yeah. This ought to be fun huh?" The GR doors opened, and Duke wheeling in the table to the team of scientists. One carefully took the bones and placed it in a chamber in the center of the room. The chamber was a steel tube that rose off the ground. Various wires and electrical equipment were hooked up to the monitoring booth on one side of the room. Bones inside, the chamber hissed as a cover of glass slid over it.

"Let me show something here Wheeler." Duke said, sitting down at the station. He typed and an image of a DNA chain floated across the screen. "This is the human DNA chain, everybody's chain looks like this, right? Watch this." Duke typed again, and a second, more complex chain appeared next to the first. "His DNA has the same elements and composition as our, its simply condensed with infinite genetic knowledge. It's almost like this guy was…engineered." Joey frowned.

"You sure this is going to work? I've heard these things can be unreliable." He muttered.

"Don't worry, we ran a GRT. The cells are, for lack of a better word…perfect." Duke said, smiling. Joey glanced at the GRC and sighed.

"Alright, start 'er up. But if this guy gets hostile, I'm turning him into chopped liver." Joey slid his ID into the security system and rested his hand on a control level. One pull of the lever would suck out all oxygen from the GRC, killing anything inside. Duke glared at his hand.

"Let's do it." He muttered, punching up the command. A field of blue energy filled the chamber, the skeletal hand rising into the air. Mechanical arms tipped with syringes came from the ends of the GRC. The syringes pumped out a thick, yellow liquid into the GRC, which floated inside the blue field. The arms worked with precision, shaping the liquid into the rest of the bones in the hand and moving them into place. Then the work hastened, and the arms worked their way up the arm, to the shoulder in a few seconds. Another, larger arms came out and started work on the skull as the first two worked their way down the second arm. The skull done, the rip cage took shape as the smaller arms built the legs. The entire process took barely a minute.

"Skeletal reconstruction complete, processing tissue." Duke said. The arms retracted and a large oval came out, a yellow field on energy along the inside. The oval ran over the skeleton, red tissue and muscles wrapping around it as the energy field crackled. This stage only took 20 seconds. A large steel coat ran over the glass, obscuring the body.

"This is the last phase of the process." Duke whispered to Joey. "The body is bombarded by rays of light of increasing intensity. The body has to react and protect it self, that means growing skin. The more sensitive areas grow hair as well, like the head and pubic areas." Joey nodded and swallowed.

"Sounds lovely." He wheezed. The sliver of light inside the GRC dimmed and vanished. Duke took a breath.

"Reconstruction complete." He said. He looked up at Joey, who nodded, his hand tight on the security level. Duke bit his lip and withdrew the shield. Inside the GRC lay a young man in his early 20's. His chest was tones and muscular, leading down to a toned stomach. His skin was evenly tanned, and his head had a mess of red, blonde and black bangs matted to his skull. Joey and Duke raised an eyebrow. Duke hit a button and a series of black cloth strips came from within the chamber, wrapping around the man and covering him. Joey coughed and glanced at Duke.

"So, this is Mr. Perfect." He muttered. He took his hand off the security lever and called up imaging. "Take a picture, the President will want the archives updated." Joey hit the command, and a flash of light filled the chamber. The man inside gasped and opened his eyes, revealing a brilliant violet. He recoiled suddenly and tried to stand, hitting his head on the chamber roof. He back up into the walls of the chamber and ran hand over them in confusion. He spun around and backed up to the glass. His eyes darted around until he saw Joey and Duke.

"Neemo sea hara dama chu nu sivat!" He called. Joey raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell did he just say?"

"Not sure, I'll call up the translator." Duke muttered.

"Monocheawan flort than ti harl maet!" the man cried. Joey groaned. This was not going well.

"Nothing, it's not any language in our databanks." Duke said. Joey nodded and narrowed his eyes.

"Is, uh…is that glass solid?" he asked.

"Unbreakable. Why?" Duke said.

"No reason." Joey replied, hanging his ID around his neck. He sighed and walked up to the GRC.

"No flor tha…" the man inside murmured. Joey smirked and knocked on the glass.

"Hey in there!" He called. "You wanna get out? We're going to have to work on this language barrier." Joey held up his ID and ran his finger along his name. "This is English, see? Joseph Wheeler, try that." He coaxed. The man glared at Joey before glancing down at Joey's ID. Glancing down further at the control panel outside the glass, a slow smile slid across his face. Joey chuckled nervously. "Uh…why is he smiling like that?" He asked. The man pulled back a fist and punched through the glass, grabbing Joey's ID. He pulled and snapped it off, pulling Joey into the glass. Joey groaned and slumped to the floor.

_"Alert, alert, alert, alert." _The alarms sounds as the man clumsily swiped Joey's ID through the card reader and rapidly pressed buttons. The glass chamber slid away with a hiss, and the man dropped the ID and slid down behind the GRC. Six armed security guards entered the room behind Duke and took aim at him.

"You're trapped here pal, there's no where to run!" One of them shouted. The man darted his eyes back and forth between them and stood up. He spun around and ran at the wall, jumping and diving through the sheetrock. Duke jumped from behind his control panel and helped Joey to his feet. Joey moaned and gently touched a forming bruise on his forehead.

"How the hell did he know how to use my ID?" He asked.

"I told you, his learning and memory skills."

"Are off the charts, yeah yeah." Joey watched security dash out of the room. "I thought you said that glass was unbreakable."

"It is, or at least it was." Duke muttered. Joey rolled his eyes.

"Perfect."

- - - - - - - - - -

The heating vent slammed open, and the violet-eyed man crawled out into the duct. He quickly crawled down them and headed down a shaft with warm air coming down it. He punched open another vent and continued his escape.

- - - - - - - - - -

"You two, patrol the entrance. You three, keep watch on the docks, he may know how to drive too." Joey ordered security. Then a loud clanging came from above, and Joey craned his head up. "The ducts…he's in the ducts! Someone get up there!"

"Wheeler, phone call for you." Duke said, holding out his phone. Joey growled and snatched it.

"Yeah?" He muttered.

_"Is that any way to greet your superior Wheeler?" _Kaiba asked dryly.

"Mr. President sir, I didn't know."

_"Save it, how is it going down there?"_ Kaiba snapped. Joey winced.

"Not good. The GR was successful, but he escaped. My men are tracking him now." He assured him.

_"Listen Wheeler, you find him and bring him back here now. You have one hour Sergeant."_ Kaiba growled.

"Sir, it's General."

_"Not if you screw this up." _Kaiba replied, hanging up. Joey cursed and glared at the ducts.

"One of you, get up there now!"

- - - - - - - - - -

The man pushed open a final duct and crawled out onto the ledge running around the GR plant. He gasped and pinned his back to the building as the 'streets' of Japan loomed before him. He gasped and looked down carefully.

"Attention sir!" He spun around and glared at the security guard who had his head in the vent. "There is no where left to run. Now, crawl back inside the vent, slowly and calmly, and we will take you into custody. Do you understand?" The guard asked. The man growled and stood up, walking along the ledge. The guard groaned. "He doesn't. Call the squad, we need a flyer here."


	6. The Chase

The Seventh Element

Chapter 5

The Chase

The man gulped and kept his feet as close to the wall as he could. The cars above and below were unnerving, but better a few odd noises then the armed guards back inside the GR plant. A hovercar swerved down from the traffic above and stopped to hover in front of him. This car had a distinctive black and white color scheme with a map of Japan and a golden star over it on the sides. The man slapped back against the wall and held up his hands.

"Attention." The officer driving the car said into the speaker. "We are now going to process your identification. Please hold your head still." The officer beside him called up the camera and zoomed in on the face. The camera scanned the eyes, mouth and nose, and began searching through the police databanks for a match. Meanwhile, the man looked down at the flock of cars swerving under him. With all the cars, the odds were in his favor.

"No match." The officer muttered, the same words flashing on his computer. "He has no file." The man sighed and jumped forward, plummeting. He fell several stories before crashing through the roof of a bright yellow vehicle.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Whoa!" Tea shouted, lurching forward as the back of her cab fell in. She served through traffic as she tried to figure out what had happened. She had accidentally swerved into the other lane when the roof had caved in.

_"You have been in an accident." _The computer informed her.

"No shit you stupid S.O.B.!" Tea snapped.

_"You have 1…"_

"Point left on your license, I know. Look out!" Tea honked her horn and finally swerved out of traffic and slid into place out of harm's way. Tea flipped on the autopilot and rested her head on the steering wheel. "I pay my taxes, I work an honest job…why does this shit always happen to me?" She groaned.

"Se no kiharl ti bat!" Tea rolled her eyes at the mysterious voice and turned around.

"And a se no kiharl whatever to you…" Tea trailed off as she found herself staring into a pair of stunning violet eyes. Of course, the shock wore off once she noticed the beautiful eyes were glaring at her. Tea cleared her throat. "You okay pal?" She asked.

"Ti bat sie no kihat itma!" The man snapped.

"Really?" Tea asked.

"Girlyo gir thal nor shonigraph, gey to Monocheawan sol ti Mangalore ti bal!" The man slammed his fist against the plastic angrily, and Tea jerked back. "Giy hor gir se no bat nor get jir larn!" The man finished. Tea cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh…okay, repeat everything you just said in English." She replied. The man growled.

"Githarn!" He snapped. Tea scowled. Some words needed no translation, judging from his tone. This guy was a looker, but had to work on that attitude.

"Hey, I'm just trying to keep my job okay?" Tea muttered. "You okay, you wanna go to the hospital? I'll let ya go free of charge, considering you just crashed through the roof." The man eyed her warily and smiled. Tea smiled back as the police cruiser pulled along side the cab.

"Attention, driver of the cab labeled 294, you have an unlicensed passenger in your vehicle. We are going to take him into custody." Tea glanced out the window and sighed. Why were the cute ones also crooks? "Please open your passenger door." The police officer ordered.

"They'll take you to the station, they'll help ya out more then I can." Tea said, turning to the steering wheel. The man shook his head.

"Thesho tim harl, tim thesho mia harl!" The man insisted.

"I repeated, please open the passenger door." The police repeated. The man looked around the back seat of the cab and spotted a small ad posted on the door. It displayed a small group of children in France, one of the few countries that hadn't been able to afford the conversion to giga-scrapers the other cities had. The words PLEASE HELP were scrawled across the bottom.

"Plaaaayse….haaaaalp." The man said slowly. Tea sighed.

"I can't, I gotta take the cab to Mai for an overhaul. Besides, I drive away and I lose my license, and I can't let that happen." She explained.

"Pleeeese haaaalp." The man stammered.

"I repeat, please open your passenger door." The police said. Tea gritted her teeth and reached for the controlled.

"Alright already." She muttered. She pressed a button under the ID reader, and the back door swung open.

"Thank you for your cooperation." The officer said. He turned off the microphone and flipped on an anti-grav wave to form an artificial bridge of air between the two cars. He snapped a cable to his belt and started to walk over the gap.

"Pleeeease heeeeeelp." The man finally said. Tea clenched her fist and growled.

"Mai's gonna kill me." She said to herself. She lurched the throttle forward, and the cab shot like a bullet. The officer on the anti-grav bridge stumbled backwards into the cruiser.

"Call the other squads, we got a runaway!" He snapped. Tea swerved down the street as two more police cars drove out onto the street to join the first. Tea hit the door close button and glanced down at her computer.

_"You just disobeyed a police order. 1 point has been deducted from your license." _The computer said.

"Yeah, I know!" Tea snapped, slamming her fist into the speaker next to the computer.

_"Your license has expir…" _The speaker crackled and droned out. Tea glanced in her rearview mirror.

"That last thing I need is this on my record." She growled, reaching into her pocket. She pulled out an ID-sized computer chip and jammed it into the reader. Behind her, the first police car pulled up its computers.

"Scan that damn thing, I wanna know who's driving!" The driving officer snapped. His partner typed and held up his hands.

"She's got a scan block up, I can't get a lock." He muttered. The driver smirked.

"Then she's a car thief." He pulled out his radio. "Attention squadrons 276 and 34, the subject is a thief, fire at will." Tea steered around a transport and jerked to attention at the flashing words on her console. She glanced down and her eyes widened at the blinking words ATTACK DETECTED.

"Hold on!" She shouted. She jerked the gear shift, and the cab pitched down as the weapons on the police cruisers fired. The man in her back seat fell forward and growled.

"To noj ti hara!" He shouted. Tea weaved down several lanes and looked in her rearview mirror.

"Damn it. They are not giving up." She said to herself. She spun the wheel, and the cab suddenly righted itself before swinging to the right and driving into a maintenance shaft in the McDonalds Corporation HQ.

"Gi harl thesho harl!" The man shouted. Tea gritted her teeth as one of the cars, swung into the shaft after her.

"I'm all for communication and conversation, but do me a favor and _shut up_!" Tea yelled. She turned down a corner and pushed the accelerator down as the cab veered towards a solid wall. Behind her, the driving officer grinned.

"She's trapped. Blast her." His partner called up weapons and took aim at Tea's cab, Tea reached down and typed up a command on her computer, her finger hovering above the ENTER key.

"Let's see you bastards try this." She muttered. A few meters before the wall of stone, Tea slammed the ENTER key, and the forward thrusters on the cab died instantly, the lower thrusters activating and slamming the car upwards into the alley above it. Beneath it, the police cruiser slammed into the wall and exploded. Tea piloted the cab down the alley back onto the main street.

"I think we're safe now." She said. The man nodded and panted. Tea looked down and gasped at the ATTACK DETECTED words. "Scratch that, down!" Tea flipped on the autopilot and ducked down as the car drove through an intersection. The six police cruisers lined up at the crossroads opened fire on the cab. The man in the back seat screamed and ducked down behind the driver's seat. Bullets pierced the car and imbedded themselves in the metal. The man and Tea both screamed as the car careened down through the sky. Tea lifted her head and glared at the dead autopilot light. She cursed and grabbed the wheel.

"Hold on, we're heading for the Fog!" She yelled. She pushed the throttle down, and the car drove down through several lanes of traffic before vanishing in a cloud of white smoke.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Nothing here." Joey muttered, peering out the window. The Fog lived up to its name by casting a dark cloud over the entire area. About a hundred feet down, the actual surface of Earth still existed. That place wasn't habitable anymore, hence the immense towers that the some 2 billion people of earth now inhabited. Joey sat back in the escorted squad car and sighed.

"There's no way we're going to find them." He growled. "We're going up. Hell with it, we'll find the damn Items on our own." The squad car diverted power to the vertical thrusters and rose up above the barrier. A few feet down from where they had given up, inside a small alcove in a tumbling wall sat a yellow cab, powered down entirely.

Tea squinted to make sure the car was gone before reaching down and powering back up. She opened the door and walked to the back seat, pulling it open.

"Hey pal, you alright?" She asked. The man groaned and held his hand to his left shoulder. Tea leaned in and pulled it away to reveal blood dripping from a bullet wound. "Ah damn…"

"P…priest…" The man gasped.

"Hey pal, you don't need last rites yet, I know a damn good doctor." Tea replied. The man shook his head.

"Ishtaaaar…." He wheezed.

"Huh?" Tea asked, leaning closer.

"Maliiiik….Ish…..tar. Priest…" The man slumped down in the seat, and Tea sat back.

"Why does this shit always happen to me?" She muttered. Tea climbed back into the front seat and called up a search. She types in 'Ishtar, Malik', and a few seconds later, the address popped up. Tea took note before powering up the thrusters.

- - - - - - - - - -

Malik got up from his scroll translations and opened the door. He stared at the odd sight of a young woman holding a man in her arms bridal-style. Malik looked them over and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I'm, uh…I'm looking for a priest." Tea said.

"I don't do weddings, you want father Schroider down the hall. Congratulations on not being bound by gender roles." Malik closed the door and went back to his scrolls. Tea growled and kicked the door open. Malik screamed and spun around as she barged in.

"He's not my husband, he's my fare." Tea snapped, dumping him on the couch. "We're looking for a priest named Malik Ishtar. The computer banks said he lived here."

"Yes, that's me. But I don't know him." Malik said, annoyed.

"Neither do I, he just dropped through the roof of my cab. He's got some sorta tattoo on his forehead here." Tea lifted his head and brushed the matted tri-colored bangs away.

"Tattoo?' Malik asked, peering in. On the man's forehead was the light image of an eyeball. Malik gasped and jumped back. "The Eye of Anubis…" He whispered. Tea frowned.

"Hey, what's up?" Tea asked.

"Seventh…element…" Malik murmured. He grinned happily before slumping down to the floor. Tea pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

"Mai here." The blonde answered.

"Hey Mai, Tea. I'm gonna be a little late bringing the cab over. It's one of those days."


	7. Good Idea, Bad Idea

The Seventh Element

Chapter 6

Good Idea, Bad Idea

"Hey, wake up!" Tea muttered, slapping Malik across the face a fourth time. The native Egyptian woke with a start and stared.

"What are you? Who do you want?" He asked. Tea rolled her eyes.

"I'm Tea. I brought the guy, remember? The red-head." Tea looked over her shoulder at the matted mess of tri-colored hair. "Or brunette, or….actually, I'm not really sure." Malik jumped up from the floor and ran over to examine the limp form on his couch.

"Oh thank the Gods it is him." He breathed.

"He crashed through the roof of my cab, started speaking this bizarre language." Tea told him.

"It is not bizarre!" Malik snapped. "It is Ancient Egyptian, the language of the Pharaohs. The language taught to them by the Monocheawan and…" Malik trailed off as he saw the bullet would in his shoulder. "Oh no, he's hurt…"

"Ya noticed that huh?" Tea replied. Malik looked himself over and gasped at the light pink T-shirt and track pants ensemble he wore around the apartment.

"Oh dear, this won't do, he's the Weapon, I'm a mess." He looked up at Tea. "I have to go change, you keep an eye on him, and be careful, he's been on a long trip. He is here at last, the perfect one, he's here." Malik rushed out of the room to the amused glance of Tea. She smirked and cast a glance at the limp form on the sofa.

"Perfect, huh?"

- - - - - - - - - -

Ishizu had laid down for a nap when Malik burst into the room, flipping on the lights. Ishizu sat up in bed and stared at her brother leafing through the robes hanging in the closet.

"Gotta look dignified, devout, loyal…I knew I should have worn the black today." Malik spun around holding two dark purple cloaks. "Ishizu, quick, what looks more dignified?" Ishizu raised an eyebrow.

"Malik…they look the same." She pointed out. Malik growled and threw them down in frustration."

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea examined the bullet wound. It wasn't serious, but would need attention. She pulled away from her examination and peered down t the closed eyes of the man she had rescued. He was pretty good-looking, although that attitude of his left something to be desired. Tea leaned down and gently pressed her lips to his. She barely had time to hear the high-pitched whir before she felt cold steel pressed to her temple.

"You're right, bad idea. I shouldn't have done that." Tea muttered, pulling away. The man growled and kept the gun pressed against her head. "That was wrong."

"Senno ecto gammit!" The man snapped.

"Ok ok, sorry!" Tea stammered, stepping back.

"Ecto gammit! Senno ecto gammit!" the man snarled. Tea cleared her throat.

"You might remember me from the cab…the cab?" Tea asked, holding her hands up. The gun was kept trained on her. "Remember? Playse Halp, ring a bell?" She pleaded.

"Please Help?" The man asked.

"Yeah, the Please Help lady in the cab? Look." Tea pulled out her ID and held it out. "This is me here, Tea Taylor Gardner. Leave out the Taylor part, I'm divorced." The man snatched it and looked down at it curiously, but kept the gun pointed at Tea. "Um, you got a name?" Tea asked. The man's head snapped up.

"Um, namw?" Tea asked. She held a hand to her chest. "Tea, and you are?" Tea pointed at him.

"Yamishinewkepthinkilborton." The man rambled. Tea raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" She muttered. "That's your name huh? Ok…I'm gonna work on pronouncing that. You got a shorter name in the meantime? Tea held up her hands and made a shrinking motion. "Shorter?" She asked. The man glared for a few moments before speaking again.

"Yami." He said. Tea shrugged. Not the worst name in the book. At least she knew how to say that one.

"Ok then. Yami, Tea. Tea, Yami." She said. The two of them snapped to glare at the bedroom doom. Yami hissed and lifted the gun to point it at the cloaked man there. Malik lifted his head from the hood of the Tombkeeper robes and gulped. He carefully held up the Eye of Anubis pendant around his neck. The golden talisman gleamed in a beam of sunlight, and a look of joy crossed Yami's face.

"My Pharaoh…" Malik breathed. Yami smiled and dropped the gun on the floor. Malik crossed the room and eagerly shook Yami's hand. "It is good to see you after so many millennia." Malik said.

"Um…hello?" Tea asked. "I'm still here ya know." Malik and Yami shot her a look, and Malik threw an arm around Tea's shoulders and led her to the door.

"Miss…Tea was it?" Malik asked. "Thank you so much for bringing the nice man here. We'll heal him, get him some rest, he's been on a long trip and he needs it." Malik pushed Tea out the door and went to close it.

"Hold on a second." Tea said, sticking her shoulder in the doorway. "When he woke up, he kept saying this one thing over and over…what does 'senno ecto gammit' mean?" Malik furrowed his brow.

"Uh, don't do that, without my permission." He translated.

"Really?" Tea asked, Malik shoved her shoulder away and slammed the door. Tea pursed her lip. "A guy mad at a girl for making a move…never thought I'd see the day."

- - - - - - - - - -

"The skeletal structure is shot, total reconstruction would be needed. At this point it would be cheaper to just by a new car." Mai Valentine lectured the customer at her booth. A buzz alerted her to an arrival in the garage below her. Mai look down at the security camera and scowled. "Excuse me." Mai hit a button on her booth, and the floor lowered down into the garage. Tea backed the cab up to the wall and powered down. "Gardner, where the hell have you been?" Mai snapped, jumping down to the floor and examining the cab.

"Don't start Mai, I've had a bad day." Tea groaned, flopping down to the couch for waiting drivers. Mai fingered a hole on the passenger door and snorted.

"I recognize there holes. Class 96 Ultimas, standard police issue. I thought you said you quit the army?" She asked.

"Long story." Tea snapped, rubbing her temples. "Ah shit, I forgot the cat food. To hell with it, I'm ordering in." She got up and went to Mai's repair console. The computerized crane, magnet and forklift combo allowed Mai to repair vehicles with the push of a button. "You got anything to drink?"

"Damn, these things are going to have to be removed manually." Mai muttered, using a pair of pliers to pry out a bullet. "I'm charging extra for this." She told Tea, glaring. Tea gave her a bored look.

"Is that a no?" Tea asked.

"Check the fridge." Mai muttered, climbing in the front seat. She swiped her repair ID, and Tea's statistics came up on screen. "Holy hell, you lost your license again?" Mai complained, climbing out. "You trash the cab, you lose your license, what the hell happened?" She demanded. Tea sighed.

"Mai, I swear to God, I was on my way here when I got a big fare. You know, those big clients you just can't turn down?" She explained. Mai plucked another bullet from the door and groaned. This was going to take a while.

"Oh yeah? How big?" Mai asked. Tea smirked.

"'Bout 5'11. Nice tan, good build, great eyes. The hair was a little freaky though." She told Mai. Mai snorted.

"I haven't seen you this dreamy in years. This dream boat got a name?" She asked. Tea nodded.

"Yeah. Yami."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Be very careful." Malik whispered. Ishizu gulped and dabbed at the wound with the damp cloth she had. Yami winced and spun around from the computer he was at, smacking her in the head before turning back. Ishizu gave Malik a look.

"He's a little touchy." She said sourly. Malik sighed and grabbed a pair of tweezers.

"Hold his shoulder still." He ordered. Ishizu did as she was told, and Malik jammed the tweezers into the wound, seizing the bullet and pulling it out. Yami yelled and smacked Malik across the face.

"Hurt!" He snapped. He turned back to the computer. Malik rubbed his jaw.

"You're right, he is touchy." He said to Ishizu. Ishizu looked over Yami's shoulder. The pharaoh had pulled up an encyclopedia file and was leafing through the pages as warp speed.

"Can he really read that fast?" She whispered to Malik.

"If anything, I don't think its fast enough for his liking." The tombkeeper replied. Yami stopped shuffling through the pages on a page about trading cards, and scrolled down the screen, interested. "He's got 5000 years of history to catch up on, remember?" Malik asked. Ishizu nodded.

"Alright, but Malik, we've only got a few days and we can't wait forever." She said. Malik nodded.

"Of course, you're right." He said. He tapped Yami on the shoulder. "Excuse me." Yami whirled around, and Malik snapped his hand back. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but…the Millennium Items. The case with the Items, where is it?" He asked. Yami shrugged.

"Seen forl tihartlo ki bal." He said, turning back to the computer. Malik's jaw dropped.

"It was stolen?" He asked. Yami nodded, not caring. Malik ran a hand through his hair. "By god, what vile creature would dare do such a thing?" He whispered.

- - - - - - - - - -

"The investors have scheduled a meeting over dropping stocks in the service wing for later this afternoon." Drake Clawfang read off his agenda. He looked up and jogged forward to keep up with the black trenchcoat walking down the hall in front of him, the long white hair a stark contrast to the pitch black. "I was thinking we might raise stocks if we let go a few employees, maybe from the one of your cab companies? I ran the figures, and we can double our service stocks if we fire five hundred thousand."

"Fire a million." The man in the trenchcoat snapped.

"But sir, we only need to…" Drake trailed off as Ryou Bakura spun around angrily. Drake gulped. "Right sir, one million. Consider it done." Bakura smiled and turned around.

"Don't worry about our stocks Drake. You're the assistant, you do what I tell you to do, so unless I tell you to worry, you don't, understand?" Bakura said, resuming his march down the hall to the docks. "Besides, with the business deal I'm making right now, our stocks will be higher then they've ever been." Drake raised an eyebrow.

"What business deal could you have made to do that sir?" He asked. Bakura skidded to a halt as a slow smile crept onto his face.

"Ever heard of something called the 'Millennium Items'?"


	8. Bargaining

The Seventh Element

Chapter 7

Bargaining

The dock doors slid open, and Bakura walked in, Drake behind him. To Bakura's pleasure, the 7 crates he had ordered brought there had arrived on time. He turned to the crowd of pig-like Mangalores and frowned at the human-faced leader.

"Darek? Is that you?" He asked. The human swallowed and nodded.

"This face was needed to get in." Darek gasped out.

"It's ugly, take it off." Bakura scolded. Darek growled, and with a shake of the head, he quickly reverted to his original Mangalore face. Bakura smiled. "Much better. Never be ashamed of who you are, even if you are really ugly." Darek growled at Bakura's smirk.

"I imagine you Mangalores are still steamed up over the UFF blasting the majority of your once proud fleet to smoke, huh? Good to see you survived. I always say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Bakura turned and walked over to one of the crates. Shooing away the attendant, he opened it and reached inside it.

"You promised us artillery, to wreak our revenge." Darek growled. "The Millennium Items will remain in our possession, until you make good on your deal."

"Don't you worry about that Darek, I have your weapons right here." Bakura spun around holding a sleek, black object. It was like a 3-D oval with a glowing button on the side. Bakura pressed the button, and the oval whirred and opened to reveal a rather impressive gun with various attachments. "Behold, the RB-96A. Breaks down into 4 parts that can be stored in body armor, cannot be detected by heat or metal detectors. The clip is a 50000 bullet titanium piercing round with optional limited secondary firing modes. Good for right-handed and left-handed, can be used by anything with an opposable thumb, can be used one-handed but has secondary firepower only accessible by a second. And speaking of firepower." Bakura pointed to a mannequin of a fully armored UFF soldier at the end of the room.

"As said, it has 50000 rounds of titanium armor-piecing bullets, can penetrate 5 centimeters of steel from up to 100 feat away. Makes it easy to dispatch armored troops, and with the Replay option, a patented invention of mine, it becomes even easier." Bakura flipped a switch on the gun. "One shot." Bakura aimed and fired a single bullet that hit the shoulder of the mannequin. "And a micro-sensor in the gun barrel detects where the shot lands, and sends every following shot to the exact same spot." Bakura spun and opened fire on Darek. The Mangalore leader stumbled back and roared angrily. However, every bullet Bakura fired turned in mid-air and slammed back into the mannequin's shoulder. The Mangalores laughed as Darek glared at Bakura.

"And to make sure they stay down, time for those secondary firing modes." Bakura said, turning back to aim. "Rocket launcher, releases 200 pounds of concussive force upon impact, loads 4 into the barrel." The rocket fires and blasted out the mannequin's left arm and part of the left shoulder. "Arrow launcher. Loads 10 into the nose of the gun, optional poison-capsule heads for venomous payload." Two hatches opened and fired the small, lethal metal projectiles, lodging them in the head. "Our famous net launcher, recently ranked #2 on the UFF's most useful crowd control device manifold." The net launched and wrapped around the mannequin, the magnetic balls on the corners snapping into place. "The always efficient flamethrower." Bakura grinned wickedly as the plume of flame incinerated the armor and left a smoldering, vaguely human lump behind. He turned to Darek, his eyes flashing. "My personal favorite."

"And for the grand finale, our all-new Frozen Mist Emitter." A murky white mist sprayed from the gun and covered what was left of the mannequin. A thing layer of frost and ice was covering it when the mist cleared. Darek and the Mangalores nodded and eagerly applauded. Bakura tossed the RB-96A to Drake, who placed it back in its crate.

"7 crates, each with 12 RB-96A's, provided you brought me what I wanted." Bakura smiled at Darek. "You got them, right?" Darek nodded.

"We had to search hard, but we got them." He said. Two Mangalores set a wooden case emblazoned with the Millennium Symbol on the crate next to Bakura. Bakura smiled and eagerly unlocked the case. He flipped it open, stared for 3 seconds, and snapped the case shut. Bakura swallowed and gritted his teeth.

"This….this case….is empty."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Yami laughed. Malik did a double take.

"Empty?" He cried is disbelief. Yami stifled his laughter and nodded. "What do you mean empty?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"I mean empty. You know, as in the opposite of full?" Bakura growled. "This….case is SUPPOSED TO BE FULL!" Bakura leaned his head forward and took a deep breath before standing back up and tucking his hair back into place. "Anyone want to explain?"

- - - - - - - - -

"Ze Monocheawan ti korbal hit harl…" Yami yammered.

"The Monocheawan…knew they would become a target…" Malik muttered, trying to translate.

"Hi karp tihorlyarn folron tibalt…"

"They entrusted the items to a friend…"

"Jor larn ti marl koloo shi bon." Yami finished. Malik sighed and looked at Ishizu.

"He knows the name of where he's to meet them, he just needs to find out where it is. Simple." He explained. Yami typed and pointed at the screen.

"There." He muttered. Malik and Ishizu leaned over his shoulders.

"That's Duelist Kingdom in the Atlantic System." Ishizu said. A happy smile came over Malik's face.

"We're saved."

- - - - - - - - - -

"We're screwed." Bakura hissed.

"I'll take my weapons and go." Darek snapped. Bakura spun and slammed his fist into Darek's jaw.

"You aren't going anywhere with anything! Where the damn hell are the Millennium Items?" He roared.

"I don't know, it's not my problem." Darek snapped back.

"Our deal was 7 Items for 7 crates!" Bakura shouted.

"You wanted the case, we brought you the case."

"The case was supposed to have 7 god damn Millennium Items in it! You never thought to check and make sure you had them?"

"The contents of the case were not our concern. We're warriors, not tradesmen."

"But you can count!" Bakura seethed, holding up his hands. "Look at the fingers, count with me here. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 7 Millennium Items, for 7 crates of RB-96As. 0 Millennium Items? 0 CRATES!" Bakura glared at Drake and the workers behind him. "Pack it up, we're done here!" He shouted. Darek shouted a command in the Mangalore language, and the troops behind him pointed their guns square at Bakura. The businessman froze at the sound of the clips clicking into place.

"We risked our lives to get the case, even if it is empty." Darek growled. "That's worth at least 2 crates. A compromise is in order." Bakura looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"So, you are tradesmen then, aren't you?" He chuckled. He thought for a minute. "You can have 1 crate. For the cause." He walked out of the room, Drake and the workers close behind him. Darek spun and marched to his ship.

"Secure the weapons, and meet me in orbit." He ordered the Mangalores. The aliens were too busy rifling through the lone crate Bakura had left to notice him.

- - - - - - - - - -

"God damn warriors." Bakura muttered. "I hate them. They have no manners, no subtlety, no sense of reason." He stopped and turned to face Drake. "You know what I do like? Killers. Hard core, cold blooded killers, die hard, take no shit, professional killers. Now had a real killer seen that demonstration of the RB-96A, he would immediately asked about the red button on the bottom of the gun." Bakura reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Drake reached into his pocket for a lighter.

"Shall I help you out there sir?" He asked, holding it out. Bakura smiled.

"No need."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Knock it off!" A Mangalore cried, tearing a net off him/ He went back to studying his gun and noticed a tiny, blinking red button underneath the arrow-launcher control. He shrugged and reached down to press it.

- - - - - - - - - -

Bakura casually leaned against the corridor wall before holding his unlit cigarette out into the passage that led to the docks. The doors to the docks exploded as the self-destruct sequence for the RB-96A commenced. Drake dove for cover as two Mangalores ran down the passage covered in flames before tripping and collapsing next to Bakura. Bakura calmly leaned down and lit his cigarette with the flames before standing up and taking a long drag.

"So what do we do about those…Millennium things sir?" Drake asked, climbing to his feet. Bakura lowered the cigarette and blew a puff of smoke out his nose.

"Bring me Ishtar."


	9. Balance of Good and Evil

The Seventh Element

Chapter 8

Balance of Good and Evil

Yami was bust rifling through various clothes and other devices Ishizu has brought. Although Malik was a little- okay, _very_- reluctant to treat him like a child, they had brought out the objects to keep him busy while he and Ishizu looked up Duelist Kingdom. Yami turned a small round orb in his hands, trying to figure out what it did. He pressed a button on the side, and the orb sprouted 3 legs and lowered to the ground. Yami stared as a long claw came out of the top and reached to his hair.

"Here it is, Duelist Kingdom." Ishizu said, typing. "It's a resort planet, the most popular in the system, owned by some sort of radio DJ. There are detailed maps and an extensive history, everything we need to know." Malik grinned.

"Great work! Now we just need to get there." Ishizu shook her head.

"No chance of that. There's a charity ball scheduled for tomorrow night. The last shuttle there leaves tomorrow morning and is packed, except for 2 tickets that were given to a contest. And there are so many celebrities there, the place will be guarded like a fortress." Malik cured.

"We have to get there somehow." He muttered. "Yami." He stood up and looked at the man. The silver orb had clawed his hair into 4 large points, and was working on a fifth. "Well, you found the hair-styling droid." Malik muttered. Yami smiled as Ishizu turned to look too.

"I think that's a good look for him." She said as the droid finished. Malik shrugged and gave Yami a thumbs up.

"Thank you." Yami said brightly. Malik stared for a moment before jumping at the sound of a knock on the door. He gathered his wits and hurried to open it. He looked out at three visitors.

"Marriages?" He asked. Drake raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the two Bakura workers behind him.

"Not exactly." He muttered drying. "Mr. Bakura would like to see you." Malik furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Who?" He asked.

- - - - - - - - - -

The doors to Bakura's office opened wide, and Drake's escort brought Malik in, his feet dangling above the ground an inch. They dropped him to the ground in front of Bakura's desk, and Bakura turned from the window.

"Ah, Malik. Good to see you again." He snickered. Malik gasped.

"Ryou…" He whispered. "I remember you! You were trying to buy those parchments from my last month! Antique dealer, hah!" Bakura smirked.

"Oh good, you got your memory back." He waved his hand, and Drake and his escort left the office. "You're gonna need it Malik. Where are the Millennium Items?" Malik gulped. So, Bakura about the items. That explained a lot. Bakura was known for backdoor deals with the Mangalores. No doubt he was behind the attack on the freighter.

"I honestly don't know for sure." Malik admitted. "But even if I did…there's no way in the seven hells I'd tell someone like _you_." Bakura faked a hurt look.

"What? Oh Malik, why so harsh? What's wrong with me?" He asked.

"My order and I encourage the creation life." Malik hissed. "But you do all in your power to encourage the destruction of it." Bakura sighed and shook his head sadly.

"Malik Malik Malik….you are so mistaken. Allow to explain." Bakura pushed a button on the keypad set into his desk, and the office doors slammed shut. "Life and creation, which you _claim _to serve, are spawned by death and destruction." Malik snorted. "Confused? Let me demonstrate." Bakura reached under his desk and produced a martini glass, holding it over the desk so Malik could see.

"See this glass? Here it is. It's been created. But it does nothing. But once it is…." Bakura grinned and let the glass go. It fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. "Destroyed…" A strobe light came out of Bakura's desk and began flashing. A hatch opened in the side and produced 3 robots. One swept a mechanical arm with a broom and gathered up the shards.

"Now look as this lovely ballet of creation." Bakura intoned. The sweeping robot finished as the second produced a scoop and lifted the glass into a bag on its back "A tiny bit of destruction suddenly creates a need." The third robot sprayed cleaner on the spot where the glass had hit before running back and forth to scrub. "A need to replace what has been destroyed. A need to create." Their work done, the 3 robots retreated back inside Bakura's desk. A hatch opened on top, and a new martini glass with a martini in it rose to the top. A plate of fruit rose from a hatch next to it.

"2 parts red vermouth, 1 part gin. Delicious." Bakura said, picking up his drink. He plucked a cherry from the fruit platter and smiled at Malik. "Wasn't that amazing? So much…_creation_, put towards fixing destruction. Necessity truly is the mother of invention, and nothing creates a necessity for creation better then destruction. Destruction breeds creation, it's the way of universe." Bakura swirled his martini and sniffed. "When you get right down to it Malik, encouraging destruction is the same as encouraging creation. We're in the same business, we just have different strategies." Bakura winked. "Cheers." He gulped down his martini, and froze. Malik rolled his eyes and sneered. Bakrua's eyes widened as he dropped his glass to the desk. He stared at Malik and pointed to his throat, gagging. Malik raised an eyebrow. Bakura slammed his hand on the keypad, and doors of his office locked.

"Well this is an interesting turn of events." Malik mocked, walking around the desk. Bakura gasped for breath and hammered the keypad. Monitors dropped from the ceiling and quickly retracted. Pamphlets shot up out of Bakura's desk and scattered on the floor. Bakura groaned and searched for the right button. "I suppose a little bit of destruction, in this case, will indeed encourage creation." Bakura found the button he was looking for and pushed it. A cage descended to the desk, containing a tiny, elephant like creature with one eye. Bakura pointed down his throat, but the elephant creature just blinked. Malik sighed and knelt down by Bakura as the businessman's eyes rolled back. "See this? Your power and influence means nothing now, that you're at death's door." Bakura slid forward and gasped. "Your entire life of chaos comes to an end, all because of a single cherry." Malik shook his head. "It's pitiful. In the end Bakura, you're still just an ordinary human being." Bakura slumped down, and Malik sighed, standing up, He'd probably regret this. He grabbed Bakura by the hair, pulled him upright, and slammed his palm into the back of Bakura's neck. Bakura's head snapped forward as the cherry flew out and smacked the elephant creature in the eye. It squeaked and slunk back in the cage. Bakura gasped for breath and glared up at Malik.

"You…" He seethed. He stood up and grabbed Malik by the collar, hitting a button on the keypad on his desk. His office doors opened to reveal Drake and his escort. Bakura snarled and threw Malik into Drake. Drake passed the priest to the guards behind him. "You saved my life." Bakura panted, massaging his throat. "And I'll return the favor by sparing yours…for the moment." Malik glared.

"You are a bastard, Bakura." He hissed. Bakura smiled and shrugged.

"I know." He replied. He waved his hand, and the guards lead Malik away. Bakura lashed out and grabbed Drake by the collar, pulling him into his face. "I don't care what you have to do, spy on the president, cheat, bomb the UFHQ, I don't care. Just get me those Millennium Items. In one hour, you'd either better have them, or know where to get them. And if you don't, I will personally see to it that you die the most horrible, gruesome, painful death imaginable. Understand?" Drake nodded, and Bakura pushed him to the ground. Drake groaned as the office doors clicked shut before him.

"I gotta find a new job. I don't get enough hazard pay for this shit."

- - - - - - - - - -

"The salvage teams have reported back." Joey said. Kaiba nodded. "The Items weren't found. The Items were never aboard the craft at all. It was a ruse." Kaiba snapped his head up.

"What?" He growled.

"The Monocheawans knew that anyone who found out they had the Items would attack them. So they found someone else to guard them secretly." As Joey spoke, a cockroach climbed up the side of Kaiba's desk. A tiny satellite was on its back. Back on Earth, in a small, isolate room, Drake watched the monitor displaying the mecha-roach's vision and pressed the headphones he was wearing closer to his ears.

"Who?" Kaiba asked, leaning down under his desk. Drake piloted his mecha-roach to the top of the desk and listened.

"Her name is Plava Laguna, she's an opera singer. She's singing at Duelist Kingdom tomorrow at a charity ball." Drake pumped his fist in triumph. Kaiba sat up holding one of his shoes.

"Good." He sneered and slammed the heel of his shoe on the mecha-roach. Drake screamed as the feedback hit his ears, and fell back in his chair. Kaiba wiped the heel of his shoe on the edge of his desk. "I want your best operative on the job. Send your best man undercover to retrieve the Items and bring them back here. I want this entire operation kept quiet, understand?" Joey nodded and Kaiba slipped his shoe back on.

"Got it. Except…my best operative isn't a man." Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, if she's UFF she'll do." He grumbled.

"She's retired." Joey said. Kaiba growled.

"Shut up and get her on the mission already." He snapped. "What's her name?" Joey smiled.

"Her name is…"

- - - - - - - - -

_"Tea Gardner!" _The mail delivery beeped as a letter slid into Tea's mailbox. Tea looked up from her oden and pursed her lip.

"Huh. I got mail." She shrugged and went back to eating. The delivery man frowned. His Japanese flying-ship was parked outside Tea's window. Traveling restaurant were becoming a trend now. Tea was seated at her window.

"Shouldn't you open it?" He asked. Tea shrugged again.

"I will. Later."

"It might important." The man urged. Tea smirked.

"Yeah, like the last 2 important pieces of mail I got." Tea grumbled. "The first was from my ex Tristan, saying he was leaving. The second was from my best friend Serenity, saying she was leaving, with Tristan."

"Oh that's just bad luck!" The delivery man scoffed. "But rules of karma apply to all Miss. Gardner. Sooner or later, bad luck be balanced by good luck." He assured. Tea smirked.

"Really?"

"Yes yes, laws of karma! Since the last letter you got was bad news, karma dictates that this one will be good news!" The man smiled. "Come on, open it. I know I'm right, rules of karma! I tell you what, if it not good news, I pay for your meal out of my own pocket. Karma will be balanced either way!" Tea rolled her eyes and reached into the plastic delivery tube.

"Here, knock yourself out." She said, slurping her ramen. The man ripped the letter open and proudly read the three words there.

"You are fired!" He cheered. Then he realized what he had read. "Oh Miss. Gardner…I'm so sorry, karma not balanced yet…"

"Hey, I won lunch right?" Tea asked, finishing her meal. The man smiled brightly.

"Yes, you win lunch! Karma still not balanced, but getting better! Karma, Miss. Gardner, bad always be balanced by good sooner or later! The more bad things happen, the more good things will happen later!" Tea looked up at the INCOMING CALL light.

"Hold on a minute." She said. The man nodded and backed up to leave. Tea hit the PHONE controls and looked at the Caller Id. "Wonderful, it's my sister." She groaned. She hit SPEAKER PHONE.

"You selfish bitch, Mom never should pushed you out." Tea grinned.

"Hi Rebecca."

"Don't 'Hi Rebecca' me ya dumb braud, Mom says you haven't returned her calls, what's going on? You stay down on Earth when we move to the Moon, and you haven't called us since. I should've been an only child, no wonder Tristan left ya…" Tea ignored Rebecca and turned to the delivery man.

"My sis is a real whiner, see ya later!" She said. The man nodded.

"Miss. Gardner, fortune cookie!" He called, tossing her the treat. Tea caught it and frowned.

"I thought fortune cookies were Chinese, not Japanese!" She called.

"Ay who care, all counties same now!" The man replied, piloting the flying boat away. Tea closed her window and turned her attention back to Rebecca.

"Look, Mom's a wreck and could really go on that vacation with ya. I'd go with her, but being the bitch you are, you have to go yourself." She was yammering.

"What? What vacation, what the hell are you talking about?" Tea yelled.

"Oh, so now you wanna make us beg for a little kindness from ya?" Rebecca snapped.

"Beg nothing! I lost my license, I lost my job, I lost my cab, I've been held at gunpoint 3 times today, and I met the man of my dreams, only to have him point a gun at me too and yell as me for making a move." Tea complained. "I'll show interest in your lives when you show interest in mine, thanks for asking. Now shut up and explain to me what you're talking about." Rebecca sighed.

"So you don't know that you won a trip, to Duelist Kingdom for 2, accompanying Maxie Rhod himself for a full week? Are you really so dense that you don't know your life anymore?" Tea shook her head.

"I didn't win a thing. I would have been notified."

_"Tea Gardner!" _Tea turned around as a letter slipped into the mailbox.

"Your name has been on the radio non-stop for an hour now, idiot!" Rebecca yelled. Tea looked up at the door bell rang. She cursed at a mess of blonde hair she's thought she'd left behind in the UFF.

"Call ya back Rebecca." Tea muttered, flicking off the phone. She moved to open the door when she remembered the fortune cookie in her hand. She cracked it open and unfurled the paper message. _"Karma balances all. Good actions will be balanced by bad actions, and vice-versa." _Tea rolled her eyes.

"That does it, the next guy who mentioned good and evil is getting kicked in the balls." Tea grumbled. She hit DOOR OPEN. "Joseph Wheeler, long time no see. What's up?" Tea asked. Joey smiled.

"Tea Gardner, long time indeed. You're about to take part in a battle of good and evil." Tea narrowed her eyes and brought her knee up. Joey squeaked and fell to the floor. He clutched his privates and moaned.

"Nice to see you too. Come on in."


	10. What a Coincedence!

The Seventh Element

Chapter 9

What a Coincidence!

"I guess after we jipped ya on the retirement pay, I should have expected that." Joey groaned. Tea rolled her eyes and flipped on the coffee pot.

"Yeah, plus I've had a bad day and needed to see someone in pain. So what are you here for?" She asked. Joey shrugged.

"Remember how you told me when your joined the UFF that you were gonna save the world someday? Here's your chance." Joey winced as he stood up. "Ex-Major Tea Taylor Gardner, you have been ordered by the President himself to rejoin the UFF and assist us in a mission of the utmost importance. You are to travel to Duelist Kingdom, retrieve the Millennium Items, and bring them back here within 24 hours, or the world as we know it shall be destroyed."

"Really, I get to save the world?" Tea muttered, waiting for her coffee. "Why me, I'm retired."

"3 reasons." Joey said, pulling a rolled-up piece of paper from his pocket. "As a member of the UFF's Crisis Negotiations Unit, you have experience handling and resolving all conflicts, crises and enemy agents you may, and probably _will _encounter on this mission." Joey unrolled the paper, and it unfurled to the ground to pile at his feet. "2." Joey tapped a single medal hanging above Tea's bed. "Of all the members of the CNU, you're the most highly decorated. And 3. Of all the members on the CNU…you're the only one not dead." Tea snorted and shook her head.

"Fine, I'll do it, whatever. When do I leave?" Joey shrugged.

"Sadly, you don't. We have no means of transportation without raising suspicion, and your orders are to do this with discretion. We have no way of getting you to Duelist Kingdom." Joey spied the letter in her mailbox. "Have you checked your mail?" He asked.

"No, my last 3 letters were all shit." Tea snapped. "I don't need anymore bad news."

"You sure? Who knows, it might be good news." Joey walked past her and opened the letter. "Well isn't this lucky, you've won 2 tickets to Duelist Kingdom!" Tea cursed and punched the wall. "I guess we do have a way of getting you there after all. You depart tomorrow morning. Here are your tickets." Joey held them out to Tea, who snatched them away and tossed them on a table.

"You son of a bitch, you rigged the contest." Tea accused. Joey smiled and held up his hands.

"Needed to be discreet. I will be accompanying you, posing as your husband." Tea froze and looked up at Joey in disbelief. It wasn't that she didn't like Joey. It was just that….okay, she didn't like Joey.

"No way." Tea said simply. Joey frowned.

"Why not?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"She lives here somewhere…" A hooded man muttered. He found the door with Tea's apartment sticker on it. "Here!" The man reached up and ripped of the sticker.

- - - - - - - - - -

"When you were in the UFF, I figured we had something going on, like you had a thing for me?" Joey insisted.

"Joey, I never…" Tea was cut off by the doorbell. She rolled her eyes and marched over to peer through the peephole. She was met by a shock of tri-colored hair. Tea gasped.

"Who is it?" Joey asked. Tea spun around.

"It's…my husband!" She said. Joey did a double take.

"You remarried?"

"Yes…no! No, but we love each other and I think he's gonna ask me soon, but after Tristan he just hates other men. You've gotta get outta here!" Tea urged.

"Where, there's only 1 door!" Joey yelled. Tea though and ran to the fridge. He pulled the door open and unlocked all the shelves, pushing them to the floor. Joey looked over her shoulder.

"Here you go!" Tea said, shoving Joey inside. She pushed the general into the fridge and picked up the contract to shove it in with him.

"Tea!" Joey screamed. "I'm not going to fit in here!"

"Sure you will." Tea assured him, closing the door. She hit a button, and the fridge lowered into the floor to reveal a shower on top of it. Joey taken care of, Tea composed herself and pulled the door open. Yami smiled and waved.

"Hallo." He said.

"Hey, how you doing?" Tea asked, looking him over. The man was wearing a pair of leather pants and a black T-shirt with a jacket over top. Yami shrugged.

"Good. Malik send me here." He replied. Tea pursed her lip.

"You speak English now?" She asked. Yami nodded.

"Not much, but learning!" He explained. Then Malik slipped in front of him and pointed a gun in Tea's face. Tea jumped back and held up her hands.

"What is it with men and guns today?" She muttered. Malik pushed her inside the room, and Yami closed the door behind them.

"I'm very sorry to do this Ms. Garter."

"Gardner."

"Whatever, but I heard about your luck on the radio, and I need your tickets to Duelist Kingdom." Malik said. Tea looked down at the gun.

"Is this how priests always take vacation?" She asked.

"This is no vacation Ms. Gardner, we are on a mission of utmost importance." Malik replied.

"Really, what mission?" Malik sighed.

"We are to save the world." Tea chuckled.

"Really? Seems like a lot of people have been doing that lately." She said. A buzzer rang next to the bed, and Tea gasped. "Oh shit." She flung open her door and peered down the hall. Sirens were blaring, and armed guards were filing down the hall.

_"Attention, this building is now under police control." _The sirens shouted. _"This is _not_ a drill. Place your hands firmly on the doorframe and await police instructions. All visitors without valid ID will be detained." _Tea cursed.

"You two have to hide." She snapped. "They find him here with ID, they'll arrest him." Tea looked around and grabbed Malik by the shoulders, pressing a button to pull her bed from the wall.

"What are you doing?" Malik demanded.

"Saving your ass." Tea said, laying him on the bed. "Watch your head." She said, pressing the Retract button. Malik clenched his eyes shut as the bed retracted into the wall, leaving him little room. Tea looked around and pushed Yami into the shower.

"What you doing?" Yami demanded.

"Duck." Tea said, hitting a button. The shower rose into the ceiling, revealing the fridge again.

_"Is anyone in there?" _A guard shouted. Tea ran to the door and put her hands into position. _"Ma'am, you have no identification sticker on the doorframe, please explain."_

"Uh…not sure what happened to it." Tea said.

_"Ma'am, place your thumb on the glowing panel under the door controls. We will scan your fingerprint to identify you." _Tea nodded and reached down to the controls.

"Hold it!" A guard shouted. "We found her, come on." The guard in front of Tea's door nodded and unplugged his scanner from her door.

_"Never mind ma'am, thank your for your cooperation." _He said. The guards jogged down the hall to a door where an ID sticker had been sloppily pasted.

"Attention, Gardner Tea, you are going to be apprehended. Come out peacefully and immediately." The guards ordered. 'Tea' growled and hit the speaker button on her controls.

"Screw you cop!" She yelled. The guards nodded and kicked down the door, subduing the woman. The head guard picked up his radio.

"We got her. Thanks for the tip man."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Don't mention it." Drake replied, snapping his phone shut. He looked up at Bakura who was lounging at his desk, smoking. "The girl was arrested for speeding and avoiding police controls. I just have to cook a fake ID with her name, grab a fake ticket, and I'll be at Duelist Kingdom tomorrow afternoon." Bakura removed the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled.

"Come back with the Items, or don't come back at all." He snapped. Drake nodded and rushed from the room. Bakura looked down at the mini-elephant that was sleeping on his desk. He slapped the desk, and the creature sleepily blinked its single eye open to gaze up at him. With a snarl, Bakura thrust his cigarette into the creature's eye. Bakura drove it deeper, a cruel smile crossing his face as the creature's groans of pain grew lower and died out. That done, Bakura sat down in his chair and sighed. Killing something always made him feel better.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Let's move her out." The guard snapped, dragging 'Tea' over his shoulder. His men hurried down to the docks, and cried out as a wave of gunfire shot them dead. Darek stepped forward and sneered down at them before turning back to the Mangalores.

"I will not allow Bakura to get away with his crimes." Darek rasped. "I shall go to Duelist Kingdom and retrieve the true Items. If Bakura wants them, he will pay for them. With blood, as we did." The Mangalores nodded and cheered.

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea rubbed her neck and hit the button to call down the shower.

"Cold…." Yami chattered. Tea gasped as she noticed the shower was running.

"Oh shit, the autowasher!" She growled, reaching in to turn off the shower. Yami wrapped his armed around himself.

"Autowasher?" Yami chattered. Tea nodded and grabbed a towel and hit the button to send the shower back up.

"Yeah, if the shower comes down and goes back up, it cleans itself." Tea explained, helping Yami dry off. "You gonna be okay?"

"I be fine…." Yami whispered. "Cold." Tea nodded.

"Kinda funny." She said, smiling. "In the span of one day, you've held me at gun point, _and _end up in my arms. Talk about a hell of a day." Yami nodded and smiled.

"Hell of a day." He agreed. A low moan caught Tea's attention.

"What was that?" She asked. Yami looked at the spot on the wall where the bed retracted.

"Malik." He said. Tea hit the Extend button, and the bed popped out, Malik wrapped up. Tea ripped the plastic open, and Malik sat up, gasping for air. Yami chuckled.

"You got autowashed." He said, pulling off his jacket. Tea turned to him and blushed. Whoever he was, he had a nice set of abs. Tea shook her head clear and pushed past Yami as he wrung his jacket out.

"You want some coffee Malik?" Tea asked, pulling the pot off the burner. Malik nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. He finally noticed the Duelist Kingdom tickets on the table. Malik snuck a look at Tea to make sure her back was turned, then grabbed the tickets and tucked them into his pocket.

"I supposed being a priest you drink a lot of coffee huh?" Tea joked. Malik slipped past Yami and made a fist. With a cry, he wrapped both his hands into a club and slammed it into Tea's neck. Tea pitched forward into the window frame and collapsed to the ground. Malik grabbed Yami by the shoulder and ran from the room.

"You hurt her, what you doing?" Yami shouted as they ran down the hall.

"I know, I'm sorry, I had no choice!" Malik protested.

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea slowly climbed to her feet and growled. She stumbled to the table and noticed her tickets were missing. She cursed and pulled the fridge door open.

"Hey Joey…" She started. She stopped when she saw a fine layer of frost covering him. "Huh. I forgot about the autofreeze." Tea grabbed a pen off the shelf and reached down to scribble a message on Joey's roll of paper. "I'll take the mission Wheeler." She said, writing it down. She grabbed her jacket and wallet and headed for the door. Tea stopped, thought, then hit the DEFREEZE command.

"You can thank me later!" Tea called, walking down the hall.

**Guess what ladies and gents, next chapter is the debut of….Maxie Rhod, aka Maximillion Pegasus! Those who have seen the Fifth Element will agree he's perfect for the part. Those that haven't…well, hopefully Maxie won't do permanent damage your sanity.**


	11. Mr Rhod

The Seventh Element

Chapter 10

Mr. Rhod

The Japan Spaceport orbited Earth several miles above ground in the atmosphere. It chartered flights to distant planets and around the Earth. Right now, due to a lack of space in the Mars Disposal Platform, shiploads of garbage were being dumped in the Spaceport's main chamber. In a corner huddled down were Malik, Ishizu and Yami.

"The shuttle to Duelist Kingdom is boarding now." Malik said. He handed a ticket to Yami and Ishizu. Yami frowned.

"Why not you come?" He asked. Malik chuckled.

"Me? Oh no, I can't be your wife, I'm a man. But Ishizu is…less so. Now, use these to get on, and make sure no one questions your identities! Remember, you're Tea and Yami Gardner, okay?" Yami nodded. "Good. Now, go to Duelist Kingdom, retrieve the Items, and hurry back. Evil will arrive in less than a day, we have little time!" Yami nodded and grabbed Ishizu's arm, pulling her to the Duelist Kingdom boarding terminal.

"Last call for Duelist Kingdom!" The officer in charge of boarding called. Yami ran up to him and pushed Ishizu forward. Ishizu gulped and handed her ticket to the guard. He took it and ran it through a ticket scanner.

"Tea Gardner?" she asked. Ishizu nodded. "Good to see you made it, congratulations on the contest." The guard said, smiling. Ishizu nodded and took a breath. Yami looked over his shoulder and gasped.

"Tea!" He yelled, waving. Tea glanced around the terminal and spotted him, growling and marching up to them. Ishizu looked and swallowed.

"Okay, so we can just go on?" Ishizu said, moving to go past him. But she wasn't quick enough.

"Whoa, made it!" Tea laughed, slinging an arm around Ishizu's shoulder. "I had a business meeting, and I was worried I wasn't gonna make it! So I sent my good friend…what's your name?" She asked Ishizu.

"Ishizu." The woman replied.

"Right, I sent Ishizu here to make take my place if I didn't make it. But I did, so now Ishizu has to go!" Tea shoved Ishizu aside and smiled at the guard. "I'm Tea Gardner." She said. The guard glared and took out a DNA scanner.

"Ma'am, that woman just claimed she was Tea Gardner. Can I get a thumbprint?" Tea shrugged and pressed her thumb on the scanner. A few seconds later, her profile popped up. The guard shrugged. "Okay, your DNA checks out. Welcome aboard." He looked up at Yami. "And you are?" Yami reached over and swiped his ticket.

"Yami Gardner, husband." He said. Tea looked at him, confused. Yami looked back at her and smiled.

"Okay, the ticket says Yami Gardner. Welcome aboard. Just this way." The guard stepped aside and let the two pass.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I fell kind of bad for him." Malik said, sipping his scotch. The priest was sitting at a minibar not too far away, confiding in the bartender. "I mean, yah he's here to save the world and stop evil, but…what is he supposed to do when he does? Does he just go back to sleep for another 5 millennia? It's a little sad…you know what I mean?" The robotic bartender blinked a virtual eye and shook its head. Malik finished his scotch and smirked. "Of course not, you don't know anything." The bartender nodded.

"Want more?" He asked, pointing a metal finger at Malik's cup. Malik nodded, and the finger opened into a nozzle, spraying a refill. Malik went to pick up the glass when another hand swooped in and grabbed it.

"I'll take a double." Ishizu panted. Malik smiled.

"Oh good, Ishizu's here." Then he did a double take and spun around. "Wait a minute, Ishizu's here! Ishizu, what are you doing here, where's Yami?" Ishizu gulped down the drink and sighed.

"He's on the shuttle with Tea."

"What?" Malik hissed, jumping to his feet. He cursed and bit his lip. "Damn it…I should have gone, not you! I'm the heir, it's my responsibility."

"I know." Ishizu groaned. Malik thought, then reached into his pocket and produced a Millennium Symbol in the shape of a key.

"Here is the key, go to the temple." He said. "Prepare for our arrival." Ishizu took the key and stared as her brother ran down the terminal.

"Load it up, the shuttle is leaving in 5 minutes!" A guard yelled. Malik peeked around a corridor and spied a truck towing several carts of luggage. The words 'Duelist Kingdom' were on the back of the last cart. The driver got off to scan his ID through a security checkpoint, and Malik made his move. He ran forward and dove into the last cart. The driver got back on his truck and continued into the loading bay.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Scan your ticket." The boarding guard ordered. Lilox nodded and swiped her ticket. The guard frowned. "Tea Gardner?" He asked. Lilox nodded. "And this is?" The guard trailed off, looking at the man next to Lilox. Darek swallowed. Human forms were hard to hold for long. Couldn't this guy just let them on board?

"I'm her husband." Darek croaked. The man nodded.

"Um, okay. Can I get thumbprint?" He asked, holding out the scanner. Darek growled and pressed his thumb down. A second later, his true Mangalore face popped up on the scanner. The guard smiled at Darek nervously. "Just a minute sir." He said. He ducked behind the desk and hit the Security Call button. Darek narrowed his eyes.

"Abort." He snarled, turning and running. Lilox spun around and followed. Armed guards around the terminal received the call and homed in on Darek.

"Mangalores, shoot to kill!" One of them shout. Three opened fire on Darek's left. Darek doubled back and grabbed Lilox by the throat, using her as a shield as he made his way to a pile of trash. With a snarl, Darek dove in.

"Find him, surround the perimeter!" A guard ordered. Out of sight, near an exit, Darek emerged and shook himself off as he reverted to his true Mangalore self. He smashed a fist into the exit controls, stopping it from closing, and swept out.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Scan the ticket, we're taking off soon." The guard order. Drake scanned his ticket and waited. The guard looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Tea Gardner?" He asked skeptically. Drake shrugged.

"My parents wanted a girl." He explained sheepishly.

"Look, I've met 4 Tea Gardners today pal. Only one of them was actually on the manifold, and she's checked in. Beat it, we're taking off." The guard turned and walked into the passage that led to the shuttle. Drake growled and ran after him, screeching to a halt as the door slid closed. Drake cursed.

"Dammit, I have to get on board!" He protested. He slammed a fist in his palm and stomped away.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Welcome aboard Miss…." The stewardess aboard the shuttle gasped as Tea and Yami flashed their tickets. "Thank god Miss. Gardner, we really need you." The stewardess grabbed her hand and pulled her down a corridor. "Maxie Rhod goes on the air in 30 seconds, and you have to be with him."

"Wait, my husband!" Tea protested.

"He'll be escorted to your cell, don't worry." The stewardess assured her. She stopped and faced Tea. "Okay, just talk when Maxie holds out the mike, and you'll be fine."

"Hold on!" Tea shouted. "Look, I just want some peace and quiet here, so I'm not doing this. I'm just going to go to my cell and…" Tea was cut off as fanfare blared from the door at the end of the hall. The doors swung open, and Tea's jaw dropped. "Aw hell no, not him." She whispered. It was the fruitcake from the commercials! Maxie Rhod grinned and flung his hands to the side.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Maxie Rhod is in the house!" Maxie cheered into the headset he was wearing. The infamous popstar was clad in a skin-tight red Spandex bodysuit that covered his feet and hands. Maxie had a long 4-foot red staff with a microphone at the tip. His hair was platinum blonde and hung straight down to his shoulders.

"And people, I'm here lookin' at the one and only Tea Gardner, lucky winner of the contest, and my personal escort for the next week!" Maxie cheered, clapping his hands together. He walked down the hall, looking Tea up and down as a trio of groupies followed him. "Oooo, I _like _her! Red hot body, ice blue eyes! Fire and ice is a lethal combination peoples, I guess this little hottie is gonna knock 'em dead!" Maxie shouted the last three words in Tea's face before spinning and marching down a side hall. Tea grunted as the three groupies came up behind her and made her follow.

"I'm not one to blow my own horn, but what the hell, let's flatter ourselves!" Maxie shouted, twirling his microphone-staff like a baton. "I myself always enjoy the company of a young lady, and I'm sure a young woman like T-Girl here frequently has company herself!" Maxie spun around and grinned. "So tell T-Girl, ya'll urgin' for a virgin, or ya'll nervous in the service?" Maxie spun his mike and pointed it in Tea's face, grinning from ear to ear. Tea gulped.

"Uh…not really." She said. Maxie pumped his fist and withdrew the mike.

"Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about peoples!" He shouted, making his way back down the hall. A door opened as he passed, and Malik peeked his head out. He spied Tea, who gapped at him, and quickly shut the door.

"I'll tell ya T-Girl, I'm sure men would just line up at your door, but ya'll gonna have to keep those ragin' hormones in check this week, Maxie doesn't do the deed with peoples on the air, ya hear? But hey, maybe off the air we can hook up, whadda ya say?" Maxie laughed at his own joke and grabbed a gin and tonic off a passing waiter's tray.

"T-Girl is my personal escort and co-host this week, having won 2 tickets to the marvelous paradise owned by me, the lovely Duelist Kingdom! Home of follies, dollies, lick-em-lollies, Hollies, Mollies, hell, anyone of any name is there! Wine, women, worlds of fun, and after midnight, a little coochie-coochie coo! Yeah, we're all adults here, and this is an R-rated network, so what the hell? I'm talking about sex peoples, and sex all night long!" Maxie strutted out into the hall and started to moonwalk to the left.

"Sex, all night long! All night long, all night long, oh yeah!" Maxie sang. He spun and pointed to a stunned stewardess. "Oh my….." Maxie grinned and slid up behind her. "You know honey I think you and I could be a great couple. I gotta be on air from 7pm to 10 pm tomorrow, but from 10 pm on I'm all yours." He whispered in her ear. The stewardess moaned slightly. "Most people say I'm the man, but from 10 pm on…I'll be…._your _man." The stewardess groaned again and slumped to the floor.

"And we're done." A voice from the microphone said. "Good show Maxie, see you tomorrow." Maxie cracked his neck and tossed his headset away. The three groupies behind Tea rushed forward. One caught the headset, another set a cigarette in Maxie's mouth, the third lit in. Maxie puffed and looked at his fans.

"How was it?" He asked, annoyed.

"It was…."

"Wow! In a word, wow!"

"I swear, it was so red, it was just…"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!" Maxie said, holding up his hands. "Red? What kinda red?"

"Well, I thought scarlet."

"No no no, it was a poppy red!"

"Crimson, really…crimson!" The groupies continued to yammer as Maxie tuned them out and looked past them to Tea. He took out his cigarette and put it out on the ground.

"Buzz off." Maxie muttered. "Go, buzz! Bz, bz! Bzzzzz!" Maxie slapped the groupies in the chest, and they quickly hurried away. Maxie stared at Tea before twirling the mike and sauntering up to her. He took a breath and stared at her.

"I meant what I said, you're hot. But too young for me. I know girls like you probably fantasize about me day after day, but face it, it won't happen." Maxie started. "As for your little vocab prob, looks won't do it for ya in radio T-Girl! You have to have energy, fire, charisma! I know that can be hard around someone like me, but try! So tonight, what say you find a dictionary so tomorrow your have more than a 2-word vocabulary! Okay, can we do that?" Maxie asked. Tea pursed her lip.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" She asked, backing Maxie to the wall. Tea wrapped a hand around Maxie's throat and lifted him up on the wall. "I wouldn't want you if you were the last man on Earth, so get that through your fruity little head. Second, I have no interest in being your sidekick for a week, so tomorrow you're going to buzz off and leave me alone. Are we red?"

"We're red, we're super red." Maxie gasped. Tea smiled and let go, Maxie slumping to the floor.

"See ya around Maxie." Tea said sweetly, walking down the hall. Maxie grabbed his throat and glared at her back.

"That's Maximillion Pegasus to you, bitch!"


	12. Take Off

The Seventh Element

Chapter 11

Taking Off

"Here is your cell miss." The stewardess said sweetly. Tea nodded and walked down the hall. She opened the hatch on the wall and boosted herself up, sliding into the narrow passage that served as a berth during the trip.

"Hi." Yami said, startling her.

"Oh good you're here." She said. "So why was Malik having you come here exactly?"

"Plava Laguna, she have Millennium Items." Yami explained. "We retrieve them, bring back to Earth. Stop evil." Tea raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Well that shouldn't be difficult."

"Evil arrive tomorrow." Yami told her. Tea let out a breath.

"Well that's a kick in teeth. Just when I think I can stop worrying, I have to start all over again." Yami smiled.

"No worries. Me, the Seventh Element. I protect life. I'll protect you. You no worry anymore. I'm here." Tea smirked.

"That was and incredibly sweet. And yet, incredibly arrogant at the same time." She said. Yami shrugged.

"Want to be sweet, Tea nice and pretty. Sorry about gun today. Friends?" Yami said, holding out his hand. Tea smiled and shook his hands.

"Friends." She confirmed. Then she registered what he had said. "Wait, you think I'm pretty."

_"Attention passengers, we are now decreasing cell pressure, to put you to sleep. We will take off in 1 minute, and our light-travel systems will have a lesser effect on you while you sleep. We apologize for the inconvenience." _Yami listened to the announcement.

"We sleep now." She said. He leaned over and gave Tea a quick kiss-on the lips. "Night Tea." Yami said, laying his head down. Tea sat up as much as she could in the cramped space and gapped.

"Whoa whoa! You can't just kiss me and just wave it o..." Then the decreased pressure kicked in, and Tea slumped down, asleep.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Wing B is secured Captain." _The intercom beeped in the cockpit. The captain nodded.

"Roger that. Attention Wing D, passengers secured? Confirm."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Yes Captain, we're ready here." The stewardess in Wing D panted. "Mr. Rhod." Pegasus stood up.

"What, I was just getting started!" He protested.

"We're taking off soon, you'll have to assume a sleeping position before shuttle pressure decreases." The stewardess gasped. Pegasus rolled his eyes.

"Look honey, if this is gonna work, I'm gonna be the one choosing the positions here!" He snapped, getting back on his knees. **(1)**

- - - - - - - - - -

Bakura's phone rang, and the business picked it up.

"Yes?"

_"It's me. Mr. Bakura, something's wrong." _Drake blurted out.

"Shouldn't you be on the shuttle now?" Bakura asked.

_"I'm not. Tea took my place. What's going on, she was arrested!"_ Bakura narrowed his eyes.

"Is some sort of joke Drake? Because I am certainly not laughing."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Recharging the fuel cells, we're getting ready." The maintenance officer yelled. Two large cables hung down from the rear of the shuttle. A large truck with a giant black cylinder drove up to the cables, and two crewmen quickly connected them.

"Recharge, hurry it up!" The officer ordered. With a quick jolt from the large battery cell on the truck, the shuttle's power levels shot up to 97 percent. The maintenance officer nodded and picked up his radio.

"Fuels cells recharged, we're clearing the runway, over."

- - - - - - - - - -

"My god…I…I love you." The stewardess panted. Pegasus had worked his way up to her bellybutton before he heard that.

"Look baby, don't talk anymore, ok? It's really distracting."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I have to admit Drake, I'm a little disappointed." Bakura growled, punching up a number on his keypad. "And of all the things in this world I do not like, the one thing I hate most is being…disappointed." Bakura finished punching in his code, and his finger hovered over the ENTER key.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Not there, not there, not OH GOD!" The stewardess screamed as Pegasus found a sensitive spot on her neck. She stumbled back into the crew quarters and slammed the door behind them.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Passengers are secured, runway is clear. Standby for take off in 10 seconds." The captain said, powering up the shuttle.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Patrolling passages, looking for any stowaways." A crew member said, walking down the hall. Behind him, Malik cursed and flattened himself into the little crevice in the wall he had found. He glanced around and spied an air duct in the ceiling. Malik jumped and caught it with his fingertips, pulling the grate loose. He put a foot on a small control panel and boosted himself, pulling himself into the duct. He reached down and pulled the grate up a second before the crew member turned around.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I know sir, I'm terribly sorry, but it's not my fault, they must have gotten the wrong girl!" Drake protested.

_"Agreed. Okay Drake, you can live. Come back to my office."_ Drake breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much sir." He said.

_"But Drake, before you hang up, hold your phone as far away from you as you can." _Bakura ordered. Drake frowned but obeyed the request, stretching his arm as far from his as he could.

"Alright sir, now what?" Drake asked. There was a beep from Bakura's line in response.

Then Drake's cell phone blew up.

Drake flew back a few feet, screaming in pain. He clutched his right arm and stared in horror at what had been his right hand and his lower arm, and what was now a stump that ended halfway between his hand and elbow. Drake groaned and stared at his mutilated arm and collapsed.

- - - - - - - - - -

"If it helps any, I'm enjoying myself!" Pegasus panted. The stewardess moaned and looked at his through hooded eyes.

"Really?" She breathed. Pegasus shrugged.

"I've had better, but like I said, if it helps any!" Pegasus gave a final thrust, and the woman before him screamed.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Lift off." The captain said.

- - - - - - - - - -

The shuttle bound for Duelist Kingdom lifted off the spaceport. It blew through space until it was halfway to the moon, at which point it activated light speed, and the ship blazed forward. It was early morning. The ship would arrive at Duelist Kingdom at noon. And Evil was set to arrive in less than 24 hours…

- - - - - - - - - -

Joey sneezed. Damn Tea. Joey had come to soaked and cold in Tea's fridge. He had a cold as a result. He was going to have a serious talk with Tea when he next saw her.

"General Wheeler." The man shouted. Joey and Kaiba looked up at the technician before them. "It's doing something." He said. Kaiba frowned.

"This is the first activity from it ever since it was discovered." He muttered. "What's it doing?"

"It's putting out radio waves. But the frequency of the waves is strange, it's as if…"

"As if what?" Kaiba demanded. The technician hesitated.

"It's as if it's trying to make a phone call."

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Mr. Bakura, you have a call on line 2." _The intercom beeped. Bakura growled.

"I told you, I do not wish to be disturbed." He snapped.

_"I know, you didn't want me to disturb you, unless Mr. Zorc called. And you have Mr. Zorc, holding on line 2." _Bakura froze. Zorc. He gulped and shakily reached for his phone. He lifted it to his ear.

"He...hello?" Bakura said. Something about Zorc even gave him the chills.

_"It'sssss…me…" _Zorc hissed.

"Bakura here sir, good to hear from you." Bakura said.

_"Did I disssssturb you?" _Zorc asked. Bakura chuckled nervously.

"No no no, not at all sir, I was just, um…are you busy?" He asked.

_"Ssssssomewhat…I'm getting ready to make the trip." _Zorc replied.

"Oh, well if you're busy, then perhaps you should go back to your preparations, and speak with me another time." Bakura suggested, eager to end the conversation.

_"Oh no, Bakura…I have to make ssssure my planssss are proceeding. Have you acquired the Millennium Itemsssss?" _Zorc asked. Bakura gulped.

"Not yet." He admitted. "But don't worry sir, I'll have them before tomorrow, ready to go for you. But…it wasn't easy. My…costs have tripled." Zorc growled lowly before speaking again. Bakura let out a gasp as he felt a twinge of pain in his forehad.

_"Money…meanssss nothing to me…I want the Millennium Itemsssss….you will get for me, or you will die…" _Zorc grated. Bakura reached up to his face and felt a warm liquid oozing down his nose. _"Bakura…I will have the Itemsssss….you will get them for me…that minor injury is inssssignificant to what more I could do to you…" _Zorc threatened. Bakura nodded and pulled his hand away. Blood. Warm, sticky blood was running from a gash in Bakura's forehead down his nose. Zorc said he had done it. But how on Earth…

"Understood sir…I'll go and retrieve them personally." Bakura promised.

_"I will arrive there…tomorrow." _With that, the line went dead. Bakura flopped back in his chair and panted. Talking to Zorc always did that to him. He reached for a cloth on his desk and wiped off his face before pressing the intercom.

"Prepare my personal transport. I'm heading to Duelist Kingdom."

**1. Yes. I know. That was nasty. I'm sorry, that's how the movie goes.**


	13. Welcome to Duelist Kingdom!

The Seventh Element

Chapter 12

Welcome to Duelist Kingdom!

Tea groaned and shifted in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes. Then she remembered what Yami had done before the shuttle took off. She sat up and looked around. The so-called 'Seventh Element' was gone. Tea looked at the open hatch and climbed out into the ship's corridor. It was mostly empty, except for a few stray passengers that had slept in. Tea cursed and headed for the exit.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Welcome!" A large group of dancers and singers greeted the passengers as the massive gates to Duelist Kingdom opened. The orbiting space station was the most popular resort in the galaxy, owned and operated by Maxie Rhod himself. The dancers and singers threw confetti in the air and cheered the passengers' arrival. But on passenger in particular wasn't paying any attention to the fawning women. Yami took a quick look around the Main Hall, and slipped into a side hallway.

"Excuse me, coming through." Tea grunted, pushing through the crowd. She stepped into the middle of the Main Hall and looked around for a familiar clump of tri-colored hair. Tea growled. Nothing. She looked back at the doors and sighed as they closed shut. Yami was gone.

"Excuse me Miss." A young woman said. Tea turned. "Can I see your ticket?" Tea reached into her pocket and fished it out. "Alright then." The woman said, swiping it through her scanner. "Tea Gardner, right? Right this way to your room Miss Gardner."

- - - - - - - - - -

"She's coming, get your act together!" Mako hissed. Miho nodded as the two guards prepared themselves. A six-man convoy turned the corner, each carrying a suitcase. Behind them came two more men- one in a lavender tuxedo, the other in a simple vest and short ensemble- carrying a large case between them. The case was gilded gold, locked with a sophisticated 6-digit lock, and shone a golden Eye emblem on the top. Right behind them came a tall woman, wearing a long, light blue veil that hung over her entire body, only her feet visible as she walked. Mako gulped and flung open the doors.

"Miss Laguna, it is an honor to have you here at Duelist Kingdom." Mako said shakily as the Diva's servants carried her luggage into the room. Plava Laguna nodded and snapped her head up to stare at the corridor ahead. The two men set down their golden case and looked at her curiously.

"My Diva? What is wrong?" The man in the tuxedo asked. Plava Laguna smiled.

"There is nothing wrong Zigfried." She assured him. She looked down at the boy at her feet. "Leon…" She whispered, kneeling down. She whispered something in Leon's ear before standing and walking into her suite. Leon jogged down the hall and turned a corner. Yami jumped back and growled at the boy.

"The Diva says she has the Millennium Items." Leon said. "You can come to her suite and collect them after the concert." Yami glared, but nodded.

- - - - - - - - - -

"We have 7 pools, located on decks 2, 3, and 5. Deck 3 has 3 pools, two of them heated." The attendant recited, leading Tea into her room. "We have 5 bars, located in the Main Hall, and on decks 3 and 4. Tanning beds are found on deck 2. The dining hall is located on deck 4, but has an upper balcony accessible by deck 5. The opera house main floor is located on deck 1, and has balconies accessible on decks 2 and 3."

"Do you know if there are any tickets left to the opera?" Tea asked, looking around. "I really want to see the Diva, I'm a big fan." The attendant nodded and held out a ticket.

"Here, it comes free with your contest. Row A, seat 43, right next to Ma-xie Rhod!" The attendant sang out the name, prompting Tea to look up from her ticket. "God, I just love him. He's so sexy don't you think? Anyway, I have to go now, but feel free to cruise the ship as you like, except for the back of deck 1, and the front of deck 5; the Engine Room and the Control Room. If you need anything, feel free to call room service, as the bill is prepaid as part of your winnings." Tea smiled.

"Thanks. Is there some sort of…dress rental on board, I kinda forgot to pack." The attendant pressed a button next to Tea's door, and an entire section of wall retracted to showcase an entire rack of lavish dresses.

"Feel free to wear what you wish, but we ask that you attempt to not damage them, and return them to the rack every night." The attendant explained. "On behalf of Maxie Rhod and the staff of Duelist Kingdom, enjoy your stay MS. Gardner." Tea nodded.

"Thank you." Attendant nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. Tea walked over to the dresses and picked out one made of soft, emerald-green silk. Next to it hung a dress of the same design and fabric, but they were sky blue and ruby red.

"I'm starting to see why this place is so popular." Tea muttered. A speaker in the corner of the room beeped.

_"Sorry to disturb you Miss Gardner, but you have a call on the line. Shall I patch them through?" _The operator asked. Tea shrugged and placed the dress back on the rack.

"Sure." She replied. The speaker beeped again.

"You selfish bitch. I should have been an only child." Tea groaned.

"For God's sake Rebecca."

"Don't give me that shit. This is so typical of you, I ask you to do something out of the goodness of your heart, and you say no. But what can I expect from you? Mom's pulling her hair out here, was it really too much to care about someone besides you for once?" Tea rolled her eyes and shook her head.

- - - - - - - - - -

Captain Valentino checked the ship systems once more and nodded.

"Alright, it checks out, time to get off." He said. Co-pilot Falk nodded, when Valentino held up his hand. "Hold it. I'm getting an air vent blockage on Wing E, check it out." Falk nodded and hopped out of his chair and jogged down the ship to the elevator. He took it to Wing E and radioed Valentino.

"Okay, where is it?" He asked.

"Right in front of you, above." Valentino replied. Falk nodded and pressed in a code on the security panel, the grate above swinging open.

"Ahhh!" Malik dropped the floor, and stopped a few inches before impact, his foot caught in a tangle of cables. Falk jumped back and stared. Malik craned his head up and smiled.

"Have we arrived at Duelist Kingdom?" He asked. Falk nodded. "Oh good." Malik sighed. "Could you get me down, the blood is rushing to my head."

-Later that night-

"Is it starting soon?" Kaiba asked, sitting down. Joey nodded.

"Yes, the radio is tuned to Maxie Rhod's broadcast, it'll start any minute." As if on cue, the announcer beeped on.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is now 7 o'clock, and we're about to join Maxie Rhod, accompanied by Tea Gardner, the lucky winner of the Duelist Kingdom contest. Now, these two are here to play caster on the opera of Plava Laguna, here on Duelist."

- - - - - - - - -

"KINGDOM!" Pegasus sang, walking to the opera house. "Maxie Rhod, along with the lovely T-Girl herself, Tea Gardner, to bring you 3 hours of lovely singing, courtesy of the Diva, Plava Laguna!" Tea joined Pegasus, and the two walked into the opera house. "And here ladies and gentlemen, the cream of the crop is gathered here for the wonderful singing that will take place in just a few minutes!" Pegasus laughed and pointed to a handsome red-haired man as he walked past his aisle.

"On my right, the great human model there is today, the talented Kurama Youko! Of course I dunno why he's here, when he should be busy screwin' some week-old girlfriend back on Earth or somthin'." Kurama looked up from his gaggle of female admirers and flipped Pegasus the finger. "And on my left, the Prince of the Sengoku system, Inuyasha Taisho and his lovely wife Kagome. Rumors say that recently, those two lovebirds have been trying to get onto the acting scene!" Pegasus covered the mike and leaned next to Tea.

"And thanks to a pal of mine in security, I have video tapes of their stunning performances. _Uh huh, oh yeah, uh huh._ And now…" Pegasus cut off his moaning and ignored Tea's look of shock. "T-Girl and I get front row center seats for this concert. This is the life isn't it T-Girl? Famous companions, good food, good entertainment, and friends." The two reached their seats, and Pegasus spun around with a grin on his face. "So c'mon T-Girl, you happy to be here?" He asked, sticking the mike in Tea's face. Tea glared at him.

"I'm thrilled." She growled, sitting down. Pegasus shook and gritted his teeth.

"And now…commercial, before the concert." Pegasus grabbed a scotch from a passing waiter. "And when intermission comes, I want another of these, ya here?" Pegasus ordered. The waiter rolled his eyes and walked away. "And now…showtime!"

- - - - - - - - - -

The waiter entered the servant's quarters and turned to face the crowd of Mangalores behind him. The waiter cracked his neck and shifted into his Mangalore face. That done, Darek snickered.

"Showtime. Get to it." A dozen Mangalores nodded and rushed off to the Diva suite.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Captain Valentino." Falk alerted the hotel captain. "We have a damaged vessel approaching the hotel, requesting permission to land and repair itself." Valentino frowned.

"Fine. Alert security, inform the ship they half a half hour."

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Clearance granted, for 30 minutes." _Bakura smiled.

"More than we need." He whispered. He looked up from the controls of his personal ship and looked behind him. Drake sat there, staring at his new hand. With his old one is a zillion pieces, Bakura has issued him a cybernetic one in its place, made of titanium and gilded gold. Drake flexed his golden fingers **(1)** and looked up at Bakura.

"When we land, you'll go and get the Millennium Items from Plava Laguna's suite." Bakura ordered. Drake nodded and grabbed his RB-96A as the ship flew into the docking zone. Drake cracked his metal knuckles and loaded a clip into his gun.

"Showtime."

**1: A reference to the Battle City Revisited saga, namely, Drake's Millennium Glove.**


	14. Night of Opera

The Seventh Element

**I don't own 'Things I've Seen' by Spooks. I'm not putting the lyrics in here just for fun, Things I've Seen in the4 song the Diva is singing. So no abuse reports or anything please! In the actual movie, she does the real opera, where you can't understand a word, but I think 'Things I've Seen' would be a good song for the Diva, although I do cut a lot of it out.**

Chapter 13

Night of Opera

The curtain in front of Tea and Pegasus rose, and the stage before them was revealed. Thick glass around the back showed off an amazing view of the stars beyond the ship's hull. Standing the center of the stage was the famous Diva, Plava Laguna. Her 'hair' consisted of a dozen thick, slick blue tendrils that hung from the back of her head and fell to the floor. Her skin was a light blue, and her lips and eyes was a striking navy. The Diva raised her head and stared Tea in the eyes. Tea froze, and swore she felt a chill.

"_You won't believe the things I've seen…Far beyond your wildest dreams…" _The Diva sang. _"I've seen chaos and order reign supreme…I've seen the beauty of the universe…so peaceful and serene…"_

- - - - - - - - - -

"Go go!" A Mangalore shouted. 2 kicked down the doors to the Diva suite. Inside, Zigfried and Leon quickly jumped to their feet, and a wave of gunfire shot them to the ground. The Mangalores burst into the suite and fanned out.

_in seconds turn to violence and screams…_

"Look everywhere, find those Items! The Mangalores will find them!" one shouted. Two pulled out the Diva's cabinet drawers and tossed piles of antique china across the room, rifling through the drawers. Another pulled out a serrated knife and sliced into the pillows of the bedspread. Peeking around the doorframe was Yami. Yami narrowed his eyes and pulled back. He clenched his fists as memories assailed him.

"I found them! The Millennium Items!" A Mangalore cheered, standing up with the golden case.

-Flashback-

_"Are we there?" Yami asked, stepping up. Mirojathyne nodded and piloted the craft forwards. His scanners came alive, and Mirojathyne gasped._

_"What is it?" Yami asked, looking over the Monocheawan's shoulder._

_"We're under attack by Mangalores!" Mirojathyne shouted. "Protect the Millennium Items!"_

-End Flashback-

"Mangalores…" Yami whispered. He growled and stared into the room for a moment before marching in. He grabbed one Mangalore by the back of neck and spun around, whipping the creature into the wall. The other Mangalores looked up and roared angrily.

_I've seen true genius, too often to lose the meaningless  
appreciation of this mediocre nation_

A Mangalore loaded his gun and opened fire. Yami ran forward and leapt into a flip, spinning into a series of backflips. The stunned Mangalore stumbled back as Yami pitched forward, catching the Mangalore's neck between his feet, and reversing the flip, sending the alien into the hall head-first.

Yami jumped to his feet and caught a punch, lashing out his other arm and slamming it into the elbow. The Mangalore roared in pain as Yami twist, then spun and used the creature as a battering ram to knock away another behind him. The two fell to the floor writhing.

Yami spun and kicked, catching another Mangalore in the knees. The creature fell to the ground, and Yami gave a hard kick to the head. He turned and chopped another in the neck, watching as his grabbed his neck and fell to his knees.

_I've heard the mind is repetition,  
of empty words without tradition_

Yami looked around and glared at a lone Mangalore holding the case with the Millennium Items. Four others were guarding him. Yami smiled and held out a hand, beckoning the four bodyguards forward. They growled and charged. Yami ran forward and leapt, catching an overhead bar and swinging up. A Mangalore ran under him and stared up as Yami came back down, landing both feet in his stomach. He slammed backwards and hit a second Mangalore behind him. The 12th Mangalore emerged from a closet, took one look, and ran away down the hall.

_Turned original verbs into submission  
I smelled this malignerance addiction_

_Coming to fruition!_

Yami kicked and caught a Mangalore in the beck, sending him down. The Mangalore holding the case with the Millennium Items gulped and ran for the door. Yami ducked and spun, landing a sweeping kick, knocking the second-to-last Mangalore down. In the same motion, Yami grabbed a knife from a fallen Mangalore's belt, turned up and threw, lodging it in the back of the fleeing Mangalore's head. The final one went down, the case with the Millennium Items skidding across the floor. Yami smiled and stepped forward to pick it up, not noticing the Diva's private elevator was coming up.

- - - - - - - - - -

The Diva bowed, and Tea stared before the entire opera house rose to its feet and clapped. Pegasus laughed.

"Bravo, bravo!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Bravo, bravo." Yami stood with the case and turned as Drake stepped out from the Diva's elevator, a RB-96A in his left hand. "Good work to you sir, from the looks of the morons here I'd say you did pretty well. Thanks so much for doing the dirty work for me." Drake smirked and held out his golden hand. "Hand over the Items." Yami took a step back and shook his head. "I was asking." Drake growled, turning on the gun. Yami looked down at the case and glared at Drake.

With a fluent motion, he lifted the case overhead and threw it. Drake stumbled back, the RB-96A falling from his hand as he caught it. Yami ran forward and jumped, planting both feet on the case. Drake grunted and dropped to the ground. Yami wrenched the case from his grasp and ran. Drake sneered before grabbing his gun and climbing to his feet.

"Why do the good guys always do these things the hard way?" He snarled.

- - - - - - - - - -

The 12th Mangalore entered the servant's quarters, and Darek climbed to his feet.

"Well?" The Mangalore leader snapped.

"We were outnumbered, there was an ambush!" The Mangalore protested. Darek narrowed his eyes and pulled a gun from his belt.

"If these humans want to fight a war…we shall give them one!" The Mangalores behind him cheered.

- - - - - - - - - -

Drake aimed and fired. Yami dove out of the way as a stream of bullets tore through the air. He dropped the case and knelt to grab a knife from the Mangalore corpse in the hall before spinning around and firing. Drake ducked into the Diva suite as Yami fired clumsily, before picking the case back up and running down a side hall. Drake smirked and stomped after him, turning and firing. Yami yelled and fell as a bullet grazed his knee. He climbed to his feet and ran, an elevator just a few feet away. Drake fired again, and Yami hit the button to call the elevator. He turned and gasped and Drake called up secondary fire.

"Say goodnight!" Drake snarled, firing a rocket. Yami gulped and looked down. He let out a cry and hurled the case forward. The rocket slammed into the case, exploding. Yami cried out as his head slamming into the doors behind him from the force. Drake skidded along the floor, coughing. The doors opened, and Yami ran forward, falling as he stepped. He looked down and stared at a shard of the case's golden lining stuck in his knee. Yami pulled it out with a cry of agony before limping to his feet. Drake followed suite, and Yami realized that by the time he made his way to the case and back, Drake would be more than ready to fire again. Yami crawled into the elevator and hit the DOOR CLOSE command, the image of Drake marching forward vanishing,

Drake slapped a hand against the doors and cursed before turning and picking up the case with the Millennium Items. With a smile, Drake made his way back to the Diva Suite. Bakura would be pleased.

- - - - - - - - - -

Darek kicked down the door to the Control Room. Inside, Malik, Valentino and Falk jumped to their feet. Darek fired, nailing Valentino in the heart. Falk dove into a corridor as Darek looked around angrily.

"We are taking over this ship!" He yelled. He looked at Malik and glared.

"Hands up!" He snapped. Malik swallowed and held up his hands- bound securely in handcuffs.

- - - - - - - - - -

The doors to the Opera House swung open, and the Mangalores burst in. Tea and Pegasus spun around as the creatures opened fire. Tea growled and looked up at the Diva.

"Get down here!" She yelled. The Diva looked up and gasped. It was then that Tea noticed the 3 bullet holes in her chest. With a moan, the Diva collapsed on stage.

- - - - - - - - -

Drake hit the elevator button, and perked up at the sound of gunfire. He took a few steps back and glared at the Mangalores herding passengers. He looked around and realized he wasn't that far from the control room. He smiled and reached into his pocket as he walked to a ventilation hatch on the right of the door.

"Mangalores and that freak with the hair." Drake whispered. He stuck a black device on the hatch and punched up a timer. "Two birds with one stone." Drake smiled and walked away, the explosive behind reading a 20 minute countdown.


	15. The Battle of Duelist Kingdom

The Seventh Element

**Here is where I probably confuse a lot of people who have seen the movie. But hey, I know what I'm doing. My butchering of the plot has a point.**

**Sorry for the late update, but I recently started Semester 2 at my school, and dropped two courses within 2 weeks, leading to much confusion and hecticity…I think I made a word! Anyhow, I'm back now.**

Chapter 14

The Battle of Duelist Kingdom

The Mangalores fired into the air, and the guests in the opera house screamed and ducked into their seats. Pegasus screamed before Tea grabbed a lock of his hair and pulled him down.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit, not good, not good." Pegasus moaned. The Mangalores started herding the guests out of the house. Tea quickly climbed up on stage and pulled the Diva to her before ducking down in the front row.

"You okay?" Tea asked. The Diva moaned and nodded. Tea looked her over. "Okay, I'm going to try and bandage you, but I'm not sure how much I can do on my own."

"Help him…" The Diva whispered.

"What?" Tea asked.

"The Divine One…the one sent to protect Mankind. The Seventh Element."

"Yami?"

"Yes…" The Diva nodded. "But appearances can be deceiving. Yami can only do so much by himself. He needs help…and love. Or he will…die."

"I'm scared, I'm really scared." Pegasus whimpered. "Some sorta weirdo aliens shooting up the place…"

- - - - - - - - - -

_"They got grey skin, arrow-shaped heads, big ears, and they reek." _Joey listened to Pegasus' broadcast and groaned.

"Wonderful, Mangalores." Kaiba raised an eyebrow.

"If your woman equipped to handle Mangalores?" He asked. Joey shrugged sheepishly.

"We never covered Mangalore combat techniques in her training."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm back sir! I have them." Drake said. Bakura smiled and retracted the ramp doors of his fighter.

"Good. We're gone." He said, blasting off into space.

- - - - - - - - -

The elevator doors opened, and Yami fell out of them, hitting the floor with a grunt. Yami pulled himself to the wall and groaned.

"T…Tea…" He muttered, slumping against the wall. "H…help…" His voice faded as his head fell forward.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hey, stay here!" Tea cried, as the Diva's eyes closed.

"Tired…cold…" The Diva murmured.

"Hold on, don't die yet!" Tea pleaded. "The Millennium Items, where are they?"

"What?"

"The Items, where are the Items?" Tea urged. The Diva gasped.

"The…Items…"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Good job Drake." Bakura said, flipping on the auto pilot. "Now, hand me the case." Drake nodded and held the base forward. Bakura flipped it open, smiling. His smile vanished as he reached into the case.

"Is something wrong sir?" Drake asked nervously.

"Drake…I sent you to retrieve the 7 Millennium Items." Bakura growled. He pulled a golden ring from the case and shoved it in Drake's face.

"So why is there only one?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Yes, the Items, where are they?"

"They're…in…me." The Diva panted, her body going limp.

"Can anybody hear me? Please help." Pegasus moaned into his microphone, kneeling on the floor. "I'm in the first row, please someone help me-e-e-e-e, I don't wanna die!" Pegasus looked up and gasped. "Shit, oh shit…T-Girl, you might wanna check this out."

"I'm busy." Tea muttered. She froze as a high-pitched whir came from behind her head.

"Up." The Mangalore behind her snapped, keeping his gun pressed to her head. Tea nodded.

"Right.' She replied. She spun around and snapped his wrist before reaching up and chopping the side of his neck. The Mangalore groaned and fell forward. Tea grabbed his gun and thrust it into Pegasus' hand. "Here, hold him." She ordered.

"Wha? What what what is this?" Pegasus said.

"Hold it to his head. If he moves, pull the trigger." Tea explained. She pursed her lip and stared at the Diva's corpse.

"The Items…are in me…" She muttered. "I'm really sick and tired of this innuendo shit." Tea's eyes reached the three bullet holes in the Diva's stomach, and she got an idea. Tea pulled off her shawl and rolled up the sleeve of her dress. She took a breath and reached two fingers into the hole. The Diva's leathery skin gave way, and Tea plunged her hand inside.

"T-Girl…this ain't me, I don't feel so good." Pegasus complained. Tea gasped as her fingers touched something hard. And metal. Tea grasped what she had found and pulled. Her hand emerged from the Diva's stomach, a short, golden scepter covered in blue blood in her hand.

"I don't believe it…" She muttered. "Pegasus!" Pegasus screamed and fired. Tea's head whirled around as Pegasus dropped his gun.

"Sorry T-Girl…sorry." Pegasus stammered. "Is he gonna be okay?" Tea looked up and cursed. A Mangalore had heard the shot. Tea grabbed the scepter she had pulled out and dug a point into the Diva's stomach. No time to be subtle. Tea sliced open the skin and gasped at the tiny glints of gold shining through the blue blood. Tea grabbed the gun and stood up, shooting the on-coming Mangalore in the chest. That done, Tea pulled out the remaining Items and placed them on her shawl, counting.

"Five…six." She said. "Good, 6 Items. Just like Malik said." Tea tied her shawl into a makeshift sack. "Here, make yourself useful." She said, tossing it to Pegasus.

"What? What are these?" Pegasus asked.

"Simple. You lose them, Mankind dies. Okay?" Tea asked, looting the Mangalore she had just killed. "So try and keep track of them." Tea reloaded her two pistols and headed up the opera isle.

"What?" Pegasus screamed. "T-Girl, what you doin'?" He asked. Tea turned around and smiled.

"I'm gonna kill some aliens."

- - - - - - - - -

"She's gonna kill some aliens." Kaiba growled. "This was supposed to be a discreet mission Wheeler."

"Don't worry sir." Joey reassured him. "I know my soldiers. She'll take care of things. Tea is very rational, she'll only kill if she feels she has to."

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea burst the opera house doors and opened fire on the floor below. Several Mangalores herding passengers away got caught in the crossfire, slumping to the floor. The guests tore up and ran away as two Mangalores wheeled up a mobile battle platform. Tea lowered her gun and cursed. The platform had a bubble of bullet-proof glass over it, and was armed with 3 rickets, and a string of ammo casings falling to the floor.

The Mangalores fired, and Tea dove behind a statue. She leaned around and fired again, her bullets pinging off the glass. The Mangalores called up one of the 3 missiles, and fired. Tea gasped and jumped as the statue behind her exploded. She fell off the balcony and landed in a minibar below, coughing.

"Ohmygawd ohmygawd." Pegasus muttered, leaning his head out the opera house doors. "Ladies and gentlemen, T-Girl is in trouble. T-Girl needs help." Tea clicked her pistols and threw them away, empty. The Mangalores fired again, and Tea was thrown forward as the minibar wall exploded. She crawled to the remaining section of wall and looked around.

"Kurama!" She yelled, noticing the model huddled behind a column. Kurama's head snapped up. Tea pointed to a pistol lying at his feet. "The gun!" The Mangalores fired their final missile, and the bulk of the minibar wall burst into flame. Tea pressed her back against what little cover she had left as Kurama reached down to pick up the gun. "Yeah, the gun, pass the gun!" Tea urged. Kurama nodded and flung the gun towards her. Tea grabbed it and pressed the load button. Empty. Her shoulders slumped as Kurama gave her a hopeful look.

"Thanks anyway." Tea muttered. A Mangalore burst over the minibar wall.

"You're dead!" He shouted. Tea jumped to her feet and held up her hands.

"Hold on, I'm not armed!" She pleaded. The Mangalore growled and backed up, stepping onto the far side of a fallen sheet of metal resting on a fire extinguisher. "I'm not armed, wrong guy!" Tea insisted, climbing onto what was left of the minibar. "I'm just here on vacation…I won a…contest." The Mangalore under the balcony growled.

"Fine. Get down, leave." He ordered. Pegasus leaned over the edge of the balcony and stared down at Tea. The Mangalore was just underneath him and to the left.

"T-Girl…you okay?" Pegasus hissed. Tea glanced up and pointed to the right with a finger. "Huh?" Pegasus asked. Tea jerked her head right. "What you sayin'?"

"Get down!" The Mangalore yelled. Tea nodded and hopped off the minibar. She landed on the other end of sheet of metal, and the Mangalore shoot upwards. Pegasus screamed as a leathery head burst through the floor beside him. The Mangalore roared and fired angrily. Tea dove down as his fire caught his brethren. Pegasus jumped to his feet and kicked, the Mangalore falling down the floor. Tea stripped off his weapons and grabbed a small metal cylinder.

"T-Girl, you nuts or sumthin'?" Pegasus asked. "You're gonna get me…" He trailed off as 3 Mangalores came out of a side passage. "Oh shit, T-Girl, they're comin'!" Tea pulled the handle on the cylinder, and a spiked, missile-shaped object popped out. Tea grinned. "T-Girl, help me, they're get me!" Pegasus moaned as the Mangalores stomped towards him. Tea picked up a gun.

"You got those golden items?" She asked. Pegasus nodded. "Good. Hold still."

"What?" Pegasus snapped. Tea aimed upwards and fired. Pegasus froze as bullets tore up the balcony around him. Tea stopped firing, and Pegasus screamed as the section of balcony he was on collapsed to the main floor. Tea twisted a knob on the spiked missile and threw it up to stick on the ceiling of the balcony.

"Count to ten." Tea said, pulling Pegasus under a drink cart.

"Huh, ten, what?" He asked. Tea pushed the cart forward, rolling it from under the balcony.

"Just count!"

"One, two, three, four, five…" Pegasus moaned. The Mangalores fired down on the cart, and Pegasus screamed. "Six, seven, eight…" Tea kept pushing the cart and winced. "Niiiiiii-i-i-i-i-i-iiiiine!" Pegasus wailed. Behind them, the spiked missile beeped, and exploded in a brilliant fireball, the Mangalore flying into the air. Tea slid the cart to a halt as Pegasus let out another ear-popping scream of terror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pegasus screamed Tea shook her head and climbed out from under the cart to stare at the charred and blackened Main Hall. She took a breath and sighed.

"Ten."

**Okay, I think this has…maybe 5 chappies left. That in mind, who can guess what outrageous idea I have next? Heh heh heh…**

**Yugi, Yami and Tea**

**Genre: Comedy**

**Rating: Most definitely M (mostly because of Yami)**

**Summary: Yugi Muto is a nice guy who just can't seem to stand up for himself. Problem is that the whole town laughs behind his back, and Yugi is all too aware of it. But he doesn't do a thing about it, until one day he gets pushed too far: thus is born Yami Atemu, Yugi's outrageous alternate-ego! With a raging libido, a serious attitude problem and a big mouth to match, Yami is everything Yugi isn't. And unfortunately, when Yugi gets assigned to escort Tea Gardner across the country into witness protection from an old boss, he and Yami are going to have to put aside their _many_ differences and work together: or else they're both dead. An adaptation of 'Me, Myself and Irene'.**


	16. Escape

The Seventh Element

**Ahem. Sorry for going all AWOL on ya, but I've had the flu recently. Yeah, what a way to spend March break huh? But I know who gave it to me, and I plan to mutilate him when I go back to school. Anyways…**

Chapter 15

Escape

Tea and Pegasus stomped down a corridor, Tea stopping every now and then to grab a fallen Mangalore's pistol. The two halted in front of the Control Room, Falk pressed against the opposite wall.

"You in charge?" Tea asked. Falk gulped.

"Captain Valentino is, but I think he's dead." Falk said nervously.

"Okay then. Any idea how many there are?" Tea asked. Falk shook his head. Tea whipped her head into the doorframe for a split second, then pulled back. "4 on the right, 7 on the left." She said. She clicked her pistol and spun around, firing. The Mangalores dropped, and opened fire as Tea pulled back. "2 on the right, 3 on the left. We have to kill the leader, Mangalores don't fight without the leader." Inside, Darek grabbed Malik up by the collar and pressed a gun to the side of his head.

"One more shot, I start killing hostages!" Darek snarled. Tea shrugged.

"Okay, I guess that's the leader." She muttered.

"Send someone, to negotiate a ceasefire." Darek ordered. Malik looked at the gun to his temple out of the corner of his eye.

"Please do as he says. I'd really like to live, if possible." He called. Tea raised an eyebrow and looked at Falk. Falk shook his head.

"No way, I can't negotiate, I don't do well under pressure." He stammered. Tea nodded.

"Okay then. Mind if I go?" She asked.

"On no, go right ahead." Falk laughed. Tea nodded and clasped her hands behind her back before strolling into the Control Room. Darek tightened his grip on the pistol at Malik's head.

"What's behind your back?" He demanded. Tea shrugged. "Show me your hands!"

"Okay." Tea sighed, pulling out her gun and shooting. Malik went frozen stiff, his jaw dropping. He slowly turned his head to stare at Darek, and the neat-little hole that had just appeared in his forehead. Darek groaned and slumped to the ground. Tea waved her gun over the shocked Mangalores.

"Anyone else wanna negotiate?" She asked. Falk turned to stare at Pegasus.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Where, where did she learn to negotiate like that?" _Kaiba crossed his arms and stared at Joey.

"I wonder." He growled. Joey laughed nervously and jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

"I'm gonna…go check on the, um…check on the…uh…yeah." He said, quickly walking away.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I am not a hero, I just tossed her a gun." Kurama assured a fan. In the Control Room, Pegasus was getting a gash on his lower arm stitched up. The Millennium Items were in his hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen." He said into his mike. "This is Maxie Rhod here, still alive. OW!" Pegasus screamed and slapped the medical supervisor in the head. "That hurts, what the hell?" A few feet away, Tea stood hunched over the security monitors. Malik went up beside her.

"Tea…good shot." He laughed.

"What do you mean?" Tea asked, not looking away from the monitors. "I missed." Malik paled.

"Look, I know you're probably…pissed, about me…you know. Clubbing you in the head and taking your tickets. But please keep in mind I did it all for a good cause."

"I know, saving the world." Tea muttered. "I've just gotta find Yami now."

"Yami is in trouble?"

"He has less than 24 hours to single-handed save the world. I think that constitutes trouble, yeah." Tea said. "I got the Millennium Items, so once we find him, we can…do whatever it is they do." Malik gasped.

"You found the Items?" He threw his arms around Tea. "Thank you, thank you! Thanks the Gods, bless you, you wonderful, wonderful girl!" He cheered. Tea narrowed her eyes and stared at him as he let go.

"Did you just hug me?" She asked. Malik shrugged.

"Sorry."

"Don't touch me like that. Ever." Tea warned, turning to the monitors. She looked across one showing the wounded being treated in the Main Hall, and gasped. "THERE!" She yelled, running out of the room. Malik ran after her, leaving Pegasus to groan.

"More running? C'mon T-Girl, take a breath and relax for a minute!" He called. Tea and Malik emerged on the balcony overlooking the Main Hall. Tea spotted the lump of tri-colored hair, and jumped down to run across the floor.

"Yami!" She called, skidding to the man in question. "Yami, what happened?"

"Something got lodged in his knee, he'll need some major surgery." The doctor looking at him said. Yami moaned and tried to sit up.

"Tea...the…Items…"

"Don't worry, we got them." Tea assured him. "Come on, we have to get you to Malik." Behind the priest in question, Pegasus walked down the hall, Millennium Items in tow, and leaned against the wall next to a ventilation shaft. He turned his head and frowned as he noticed the little black box nearby. He inspected it and cocked his head.

"Hey Malik my man, what's this thing?" He asked, gesturing for the priest. Malik looked at the bomb and gasped.

"Oh my god….it's a, it's a, it's a…"

"Nononononononononono. No." Pegasus said. "It's not a bomb, because I own this hotel, and I know for a fact it has a bomb detector. Okay?" Malik nodded.

"Okay. Good." Pegasus nodded back, and the two spun around as sirens blazed in the Mai Hall. Flashing red lights popped up from the stairs and the floors.

_"Attention. A bomb has been detected in the hotel. Please proceed calmly to the nearest emergency exit." _Pegasus' jaw dropped.

"Aw hell no, not again!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Bakura kicked and sent Drake tumbling down the entrance ramp to his fighter. Drake coughed as Bakura began to retract the ramp.

"Find the other Items, or I swear to god I will kill you." Bakura seethed. Drake nodded and ran into the hotel.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Shit." Tea growled. She knelt down and threw Yami's arm over her shoulders, helping him to his feet. Around them, other guests were fleeing for the passages to the escape hatches. He various injured were being assisted by crewmates. "C'mon, we've gotta move." She grunted.

"T-Girl!" Pegasus called. Tea looked up at the DJ. "Follow me, I gotta way out!" Pegasus said, running back down the passage to the Control Room. Tea and Yami hopped up the stairs and followed with Malik, who helped Tea carry Yami. As they passed it, the elevator dinged, and Drake walked out, looking to the sides. He spotted the retreating tri-colored hair, and growled.

"Him." He snarled, marching after them. A few feet behind him, his bomb ticked off 5 minutes.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Where are you going?" Tea asked Pegasus.

"Have you seen those escape pods? Like I, the owner of this place, would leave in one of them." Pegasus replied. He punched up a security code to a door, and it hissed open. Beyond lay a large dry dock, with a rather-fancy looking ship in dock. "Meet my own personal transport to and from here." Pegasus said with a flourish.

"Yeah yeah, move it." Tea muttered, pushing past him and walking down the steps to the dock floor with Yami and Malik.

"Hold it!" Pegasus turned as Drake stomped up behind him. "Stop right there, or I shoot!" Drake ordered, holding up his gun. Pegasus eeped and held up his hands, the Millennium Items clanging to the ground. Drake eyed the sack as it spilled open, and smiled. "What a coincidence, just what I was looking for." He walked up to Pegasus and shoved the DJ down the short steps to the dock floor. "My boss has expressed a great interest in these items, thank you for finding them for me." Drake said, picking up the sack.

"Bakura?" Malik roared. Drake grinned and slung the Items over his shoulder.

"I really would like to watch you 4 blow up, but I have a transport to catch. Chow." Drake snickered and turned to leave. Tea growled.

"I did not spend all night with this fruitcake just to die now!" She snarled, shifting Yami to Malik. She ran past Pegasus and dove, tackling Drake to the ground. Drake went down with a grunt, his RB-96A skidding ahead of him. Tea ran ahead of him and grabbed the gun. Drake climbed to his feet, and Tea whirled around. Drake ducked, but not before Tea's aim caught him in the shoulder. Drake cried out and fell backwards. Tea tossed his weapon away and marched past him, grabbing the Millennium Items.

"Got them, get on! We're heading to Egypt!" She ordered. Pegasus, Malik and Yami climbed on the ship, Tea a second behind them. Tea tossed the Millennium Items on the floor and hopped in the pilot's seat.

"Whoa whoa, T-Girl, you know how to fly this thing?" Pegasus asked. Tea shrugged.

"Yup. Just like driving a cab." She said. She powered up the ship and raised the ramp. Drake ran to the closing dock doors as the bay doors opened into space. Tea pushed the throttle forward, and the ship lurched forward.

"What the hell?" Pegasus screamed. "Is this how you drive? How did you keep your license?"

"I didn't." Tea replied.

- - - - - - - - - -

Drake cursed as he watched them take off, then pulled out a new cell-phone.

"Sir, I know where the Millennium Items are." He said.

"Really? Bring them here." Bakura ordered.

"I can't, someone else has them. But I know where they're heading. Earth, somewhere in Egypt." Bakura was silent for a moment.

"So…you know the Items are now bound for Egypt. But you do not have them."

"No." Drake admitted.

"Drake. You are fired, and I am leaving." Bakura hung up, and Drake gasped. By now, all the escape pods would have left, and with Bakura gone…NO! Drake spun around and ran to the Control Room.

- - - - - - - - - -

Drake skidded around the corner and ran to the black bomb on the wall. He grabbed it and held it up to his face.

_6…5…4…3…2…1_

"Oh no." Drake muttered, dropping the bomb to his feet. It hit the ground with a clatter, and beeped as the timer flashed 00:00. **(1)**

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea and the gang flew through space towards Earth. Behind them, the Duelist Kingdom Hotel exploded in a blaze of light. No one on board the ship noticed the sleek, black fighter following in their wake. On board, Bakura sneered at the ship and punched up a course to Earth.

"This story isn't over yet."

**1: To quote Chris Tucker from another of his movies: Damn! You know he dead!**


	17. Three Hours

The Seventh Element

Chapter 16

Three Hours

Joey popped open a bottle of champagne and poured himself a glass. All around him, the presidential office was celebrating. Except Kaiba, of course.

"I told you Mr. President, Tea was the girl for the job!" Joey cheered, setting a glass on Kaiba's desk. "She never fails." Kaiba shrugged ands sipped his drink.

"I have to admit, she surprised me. She actually saved us." Joey nodded.

"Yup. According to Maxie Rhod's broadcast, they should get to Earth anytime now, and activate the Millennium Items. We're saved." Kaiba nodded. Behind the partying officers, a lone scientist stood up from his computer.

"Excuse me…Mr. President?" He called. The crowd parted to reveal Kaiba.

"Yes?" Kaiba asked. The scientist gulped.

"I have something…important to report, sir."

- - - - - - - - - -

"You should be okay for now." Tea said, wrapping a makeshift bandage made of her dress around Yami's knee. Yami chuckled softly.

"You humans are strange creatures." He muttered. Tea looked up at him.

"Why do you say that?" She replied. Yami smile bitterly.

"Nearly everything your species creates…is used to destroy. You'll end up destroying yourselves someday." He explained. Tea pursed her lip and nodded.

"Yeah…it sucks, I know. It's called human nature. Destroying things seems to be what we do best." Behind her, Malik decided to tune out the conversation and turned to the sack containing the Millennium Items. He pulled out one, a gleaming gold pyramid-shaped pendant, and gasped.

"Incredible." In the back, Pegasus was peering at his nails.

"God damn it, my manicure is shit now." He grumbled. "500 bucks down the tube. Where's the justice in that?"

"Humans may not be the best species around." Tea said. "But we have a few good things going for us. Hovercraft…democracy…love." She smirked. "No doubt, we suck as a species compared to most. But we're not all bad."

- - - - - - - - - -

"What do you mean it's moving?" Kaiba snarled, jumping up. The scientist nodded.

"The meteor is moving at incredible speeds. Our fighters are at maximum burn, and falling behind. We've managed to calculate its course based on the trajectory of travel."

"Great." Kaiba growled. "So where's it going?" The scientist laughed nervously.

"This is the part you're really going to hate…"

- - - - - - - - - -

"You know how to use those things, right?" Tea asked. Malik jumped and nodded.

"Yes, of course. The 6 Millennium Items go around on the altars, Yami stands on the platform in between them…there's nothing to it." Tea nodded.

"You sure?"

"Yes, these secrets have been safeguarded by my bloodline for centuries. Why?" Malik asked, annoyed. Tea shrugged.

"Nothing, I just thought…saving the world would be a little more complicated." She said. A beep came from her pocket and she looked down to fish out her portable phone. "Who the hell would be calling me now?" She asked, flipping on the phone. "Yeah?"

_"Ms. Gardner, this is President Kaiba. First of all, excellent work handling yourself at Duelist Kingdom. You showed some real courage out there…"_

"Mr. President." Tea interrupted. "I don't think you called to make small talk. What's up?" On the other line, Kaiba took a breath.

_"Okay, here's what's up. There's a gigantic fireball heading for Earth. Those…Millennium things, are all that can stop it." _Tea nodded.

"Really? How much time until it hits?"

_"According to what has been calculated, it pass the Moon's orbit and enter the atmosphere in 2 hours and 54 minutes." _Kaiba replied. Tea nodded again.

"Okay then. Call ya back in 3 hours." She said, hanging up.

- - - - - - - - - -

Kaiba stared opened mouthed at his receiver.

"She hung up on me." He whispered in disbelief. "She hung up on the President!" He roared. Joey's eyes widened.

"You can do that?" He asked. Kaiba glared.

"Not if you want to keep your job!" He snapped. Joey flashed him a thumbs up.

"Noted."

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea landed outside the temple.

"We're here!" She shouted, lowering the ramp. She looked down at the onboard clock. "We've got 10 minutes, move it!" Malik grabbed the Millennium Items and raced into the temple, Pegasus and Tea following. Yami hopped up and followed as best he could with his injured knee.

"You're here!" Ishizu cried, waiting inside the temple's inner chamber. Malik raced to the platform in the middle and dumped out the Millennium Items.

"Okay, let's see here…" He muttered, grabbing a small, round Item. He looked around the room and pointed to a pillar with a small reciprocal in it. "Ishizu, go." He ordered, tossing the Item to his sister. Ishizu ran to the pillar and placed the Item in the hole. The Item glowed slightly as it was set in place.

"Okay, each take one." Malik said. The 4 each grabbed 1 of the remaining Items, leaving one left. Tea looked up her pillar and shook her head, racing to the next one. Pegasus took her place and held up an ahnk-shaped Item.

"Okay, so I just…" He pressed the Item into the setting, and nodded as it glowed.

"The Millennium Scales." Malik breathed, setting the scales into their place, once again glowing. Ishizu unraveled her necklace and place it in its setting. Tea took her item, a scepter, and placed it in the pillar it belonged it. That done, the four raced to the platform and picked up the pyramidal Item.

"There's only one alcove left." Malik said. Tea looked down at her watch.

"Good, we've only got 8 minutes." She said. Malik took the Item to the alcove, and gasped.

"What?" He said, stepping back. Tea raced to him.

"What, what's up?" She asked. Malik held up the pendant. "So?" Malik pointed to the alcove. It had a pyramid shape in the center, but had a ring going around the outside, with 5 spines coming out the bottom.

"It doesn't fit." Malik whispered.

"It doesn't belong there." They spun around to see Yami limp into the chamber. "Seventh Element…Seventh Item." Yami gently took the pendant from Malik and hung it over his neck by the attached thread. "There's an Item missing."

"NO!" Malik shouted. "There cannot be. The Tombkeepers have guarded this place for centuries, there were only ever 6 Millennium Items."

"Apparently not." Tea muttered. "I knew saving the world had to have a catch somewhere. By the way, 7 minutes." Malik held his head in his hands.

"This makes no sense…there's a seventh Item…a ring of some sort."

"Now there, you wouldn't mean this ring, would you?" The 5 looked up as Bakura sauntered into the chamber, his hands clasped behind his back. Around his neck hung the final Millennium Item.

"Give it to us, or I'll take it from you!" Yami snapped, taking a step forward. Bakura held up his hands and pointed a RB-96A at Yami.

"You're free to try!" Bakura said, grinning. "And Malik, what a surprise, seeing you here. Once again you lie to my face. That's rather disappointing, Malik. I don't like being disappointed."

"Bakura, listen to me." Malik growled. "Unless you hand that Item over, we'll all die in a little over 5 minutes." Bakura nodded and moved his gun to aim at Malik.

"Okay, that's your side of the events. Here's mine. I'm being paid a shitload of money –in fact, about 2 times what I'm worth now- to get those Items. And I'm not prepared to let a paying customer of mine be disappointed over your mumbo jumbo. So how about you give me the Items, and in return, I don't put 50 holes in each of your heads." He said.

"Didn't you listen?" Tea asked. "We'll all be dead soon without that ring!" Bakura grinned.

"Really? Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"I'm not." Yami snarled, running. Bakura shifted his aim, and was shoved to the ground. His gun flew through the air and hit the Millennium Scales, shattering into a million pieces as it hit a barrier the Item was projecting.

"Get his Item!" Malik urged. Bakura snarled and kicked Yami overhead, the being landing in a heap of dust. Bakura stood up and reached into his coat.

"Sometimes, you just want to kill someone the old fashioned way." He muttered, pulling a sword from his coat. Tea helped Yami to his feet.

"You okay?" She asked. Yami glanced down at her watch.

"5 minutes." He said. Tea nodded.

"Yeah. And to think this guy is gonna end the world." She said, jerking her thumb at Bakura. Bakura growled and pointed his sword at her.

"You die first." He snarled. Tea shook her head.

"Sorry pal. But I've had enough men threaten me recently." She replied. She spun and ripped the scepter from the pillar. Bakura snarled and slashed overhead, his sword clanging off the golden Item in Tea's hands. Tea kicked and pushed Bakura onto his back.

"I'll handle him, you go to Malik. Figure out whatever it is you need to do." Tea order. Yami shook his head.

"I'm the Seventh Element here. It's my job to save humanity, not yours." He countered. Tea nodded.

"Yeah, but I was the one given a government contract to do it." She said. Yami nodded back, and the two glanced at Bakura before shaking hands and charging the rising businessman.

**Now do you see why I changed the plot? We get that big final fight we never really got in the original movie. The next chapter is the final one, so don't miss it! In the meantime, I have made a final decision. My next movie adaptation is...**

**Ryou Bakura- Movie Maker**

**Rating: M**

**Genre: Comedy**

**Cast: Bakura, Mai, Joey, Kaiba, Yugi, Tea, Yami, Malik, Pegasus**

**Summary: Ryou Bakura is...not Hollywood's most successful director. In fact, he's pushing 30, and hasn't made a single film. But when his scriptwriter (Joey) writes an amazing script, Bakura decides it's time to make his life something. With a studioworker (Malik), a sexy wannabe (Tea), a pompous diva (Mai), and a coldfish antagonist (Kaiba), Bakura sets out to make his movie using Hollywood's hottest star, Yami Muto. Too bad Yami doesn't want to be in the movie!**

**But that doesn't stop Bakura!After all, where is it written that Yami has to _know _he's in the film? The way Bakura sees it, as long as he can film Yami, and have his actors say their lines to him on the street, it doesn't matter if Yami knows he's in the film! Bakura has a plan to con Yami into the role of a lifetime, and Yami won't even know it. Reality TV takes on a whole new meaning as Bakura and friends invade Yami's life with the intent of making the best movie ever! The catch: don't let Yami know he's in it! An adaptation of 'Bowfinger'.**


	18. Divine Light

The Seventh Element

**On special request, Pegasus' huffy departure remains identical to the film. But the chain of events that save the world have been Yugiohfied. Hey, I made a word!**

**For anyone who was wondering why I cut out the final scene, it's because it's mostly a visual thing, and I don't think a scene like that would work for Fanfiction. But hey, I _did_ include the final fight scene the movie didn't have (in the film, Corben and Zorg never even meet each other), so it evens out. Anyhow…**

Chapter 17

Divine Light

Bakura slashed and met golden metal as Tea raised the Millennium Rod to block the attack. Yami spun and kicked and sent Bakura flying across the temple, the Ring around his neck lying underneath him. Bakura growled and got to his hands and knees. Yami ran towards him, and Bakura leapt to his feet, spinning. Yami gasped as he collapsed into Bakura's arms, Bakura's blade embedded in his right shoulder. Tea gasped.

"Yami!" She screamed. Bakura sneered and withdrew the sword, pushing Yami to the ground beside him.

"One down, one to go." Bakura laughed. Tea growled. "If it makes you feel better, it wasn't personal." Bakura said, holding his arms wide. Tea glared and charged, Millennium Rod raised. Sword met Rod, and the two clanged off each other in a shower of sparks. Malik raced to Yami's side and tore off his shirt sleeve to push it onto the wound, stopping the blood flow. Yami groaned and coughed.

"He's alive for now, he should be okay." Malik said to Ishizu. "Here, hold this." Ishizu nodded and put her hands over the wound. Behind them, Pegasus was watching Tea duel Bakura.

"Ah man, people dyin', thing blowin' up, this is not my day." He moaned. Malik looked up.

"Tea, take off the sheath!" He yelled. Bakura landed a kick and sent Tea onto her back.

"What?" She shouted, rolling to avoid Bakura's sword. Bakura grunted as his sword stuck in the ground.

"The Millennium Rod, take off the sheath! It's a sheath!" Malik shouted. Tea looked over the Rod, and noticed a crease about halfway up the rod. She pulled and the lower, hollow section of the Rod fell to the floor. The bottom half of the Millennium Rod now came to a razor-sharp point. **(1) **Tea looked down at the Rod before looking up at Bakura.

"You're insane." She hissed. Bakura shrugged.

"Well, to each his own." He replied. With that, Bakura spun and sliced. Tea swung the Millennium Rod, and the blades clanged off each other. Tea jabbed the sword towards Bakura's stomach, and Bakura hopped back, sweeping down and knocking the Rod to the side as he did so. Tea stabbed again, and Rod met blade. But this time, Tea slid the Rod down the length of the blade, and with a flick of the wrist, slashed Bakura across the wrist. Bakura yowled and fell to his knees, his sword falling to the ground. Looking at the blood running down his hand, Bakura held out his tongue and licked it up before getting up, picking up his sword.

"Oh, I am _so_ going to kill you." He growled, stalking towards Tea. Nearby, Yami turned his head and caught a glimpse of Tea's watch.

"3 minutes." He rasped, coughing. Malik nodded and looked up.

"By all the Gods, please, help us." He whispered. Tea and Bakura continued their duel, Tea rolling to the side and missing a slice that would have cut her in two. Bakura had the expertise of a trained warrior, a businessman who had the time and money to perfect the art of killing. Tea was trained too, but UFF training didn't include swordplay. Her moves were steadily becoming more and more desperate, while Bakura fought with skill and precision.

"You shall not win this." Bakura sneered, deflecting a jab. "Need I remind you that you have only a few moments to kill me, and you're not having much luck there."

"Shut up!" Tea snapped, jabbing. Nearby, Yami winced and slowly climbed to his feet.

"No, my Pharaoh, you must rest!" Malik urged. Yami shook his head and stumbled towards the battle. Tea noticed him out of the corner of her eyes, and turned.

"Yami!" She cried, diverting her attention from Bakura. Bakura took full advantage, and drove his sword into Tea's chest. Yami and Tea both gasped as the blade embedded itself inside Tea, the Millennium Rod falling from her grasp. Bakura spun, and Tea slid off the blade, collapsing into Malik's arms.

"So, you're back for more." Bakura sneered. "This should be fun." Yami growled and bent over to pick up the Millennium Rod.

"You killed her…" He hissed, raising his head. Bakura smiled.

"If it helps, you're about to join her!" He said. He raised his sword overhead and slashed towards Yami. Yami rolled forward and rolled to his feet, the Millennium Rod in his hand. He rose to face Bakura as the force of his roll sent the item up between them. Yami spun around, and with a flick of the wrist, the string holding the Millennium Ring snapped, sending the item through the air. It skidded to the floor, and Ishizu ran to pick it up, placing it in the final alcove. Bakura snarled, and Yami finished his spin, ramming the Millennium Rod into Bakura's heart.

Bakura gasped as the golden artifact pierced his flesh, warm blood trickling out of the wound. Yami raised his hand and punched Bakura across the face, blood cracking out of his lips. He withdrew the Rod, and Bakura slumped to the ground, holding his chest in agony.

"1 minute." Malik said solemnly. Yami sheathed the Millennium Rod and tossed it to the ground before running to Tea's side. Ishizu retrieved the item and put it in its place. Bakura gasped and tried to get up, only to collapse limply to the ground.

"T-Girl, ya can't die!" Pegasus whimpered. Tea's eyes had slid closed. "C'mon, you and me, we're the beautiful people, we can't die!" Yami took Tea's head from Malik and cradled it against his chest.

"No…" He whispered. Malik looked up as a vast shadow slid over the sky.

"Yami, please, there will be time to grieve later! We must save the world now!" He urged. Yami looked up and glared at his, his eyes watery.

"Why bother?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"It will enter the atmosphere in 30 seconds." A technician droned. Kaiba barely heard and he took a breath and leaned back in his chair. "It has been estimated that once it hits, the Earth will crack apart and lose its orbital field. Any orbiting satellites, this station will swing into the Sun's orbit, eventually falling into the core." Kaiba nodded.

"Noted." He whispered. Opposite him, Joey clasped his hands together and lowered his head, eyes closed. All around, the presidential cabinet lived out their final moments.

"15 seconds."

- - - - - - - - - -

"No species is as self-destructing as yours." Yami spat. "No species besides humans kill each other when there is no need. Only your species kills for pleasure. Why bother saving you?" Yami looked down at Tea's body and closed his eyes.

"Don't you get it? She's dead, because of her own kind. She never once killed unless she had to. You people should have revered her. And instead you condemned her."

"Yami, why does her death matter so much?" Malik growled. A pair of tears slid down Yami's cheeks.

"Because…I loved her." He whispered. The two tears slid over his chin to fall onto the Millennium Puzzle around his neck. The eye on the Puzzle glowed a soft gold as the 6 Items surrounding the altar pulsed. Malik, Ishizu and Pegasus stepped back as the Eye of Anubis on Yami's forehead glowed, his bangs fluttering in an unseen breeze. Bakura's eyes widened as the Millennium Items glowed.

- - - - - - - - - -

Kaiba bit his lip as the scientist stared at the clock.

"7…6…5…4…3…"

- - - - - - - - - -

The Millennium Puzzle glowed a gold before sparking into a blinding white, and lifting off of Yami's chest. Yami's head snapped up as the Puzzle levitated in the air. The 6 Millennium Items sent out 6 beams of light- red, blue, yellow, green, black and white- towards the altar. The beams hit the Millennium Puzzle, and the Eye on Yami's forehead glowed from gold to white. Yami threw back his head and screamed as a bolt of energy shot out of the Millennium Puzzle and into the sky.

Hundreds of miles above, a giant flaming meteor passed the Moon's orbit. Then a glowing beam of light hit it, and expanded into a glowing white barrier that wrapped itself around the meteor. A human-like roar of rage roared out of the meteor, the sound failing to carry in the emptiness of space. The white barrier crackled as the meteor slowly slid to a stop, the lava cooling to nothing before it imploded. With a final flash of light, the meteor exploded into a million pieces before the white light gain intensity, the smaller rocks left over vanishing into dust.

The Millennium Puzzle fell against Yami's chest, and the pharaoh collapsed on the altar, panting heavily. He pushed himself up when a soft hand reached out to take his own. Yami's head snapped around to see Tea's eyes flutter open weakly.

"Hey…remember when we boarded the ship to Duelist Kingdom?" She croaked, her hand reaching up to Yami's neck. Yami nodded. "You got it wrong." Tea told him. Before Yami could figure out what she meant, Tea pulled him down into a breath-taking kiss.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Reports are coming in. The planet seems to have met some sort of energy beam and disintegrated." Joey muttered. Kaiba leaned forward and stared at him.

"What?" He asked. Joey smiled.

"She did it…she did it!" He cheered. Behind him, the space station leapt into cheer.

- - - - - - - - - -

Malik, Ishizu and Pegasus stared at the altar as Yami and Tea embraced, locked in their kiss. Malik blinked.

"He did it…he did it." He whispered. Ishizu grinned.

"YES!" She shouted, wrapping her arms around Malik. Pegasus screamed and jumped a foot before staring at Ishizu.

"What the hell?" He demanded. "We all almost get killed, you cheer? God damn, you people! I'm outta here, you people are nuts!" He stomped angrily towards the entrance to the temple. "And you two get a room!" He snapped. Yami pulled away from Tea.

"You saved the world huh? Congrats." Tea chuckled.

"He killed you." Yami growled, turning his head to look at the barely-alive Bakura nearby. "Humans…your species is so destructive." Tea smirked.

"Yeah. But like I said, we've got a few things going for us. Hovercraft, democracy…"

"Love." Yami remembered, looking back at her. Tea winked.

"Yeah. We got love too." She said. Yami smiled back and leaned down to kiss her again.

**THE END**

**1: Yup, the Millennium Rod has a concealed dagger. So if you ever see an episode where Malik holds the Rod up to someone and threatens them, odds are that 4Kids just edited the Dagger out. The Japanese viewers get all the cool stuff. The guns, the daggers, the scantily-clad female monsters…it ain't fair!**

**So this wraps it up! Thanks for reading everyone!**


End file.
